THIS WEEK: Miracle Fortress, hyphy, Humble Pie!

PLUS: Good morning little schoolgirl!!

M Hi. For the Me Mom and Morgentaler flyer, can someone explain why it has a picture of the COMMUNIST holding the Red Book? Just wondering. [BLEEP!]

M Hey, CHOM, I’ve got a request for you. How about something that isn’t fucking Zeppelin or Cream or AC/DC? I mean, these bands are great, we love them, but stop playing the same tracks from said bands over and over again! Why not play music from some of the bands that inspired these bands, like VANILLA FUDGE or HUMBLE PIE? Hey, let’s have a FACES weekend. I think you could probably get people listening to your radio station if you tried something like that. If I have to hear “White Room” one more fucking time, I think I’m going to cry. Thank you. [BLEEP!]

F What’s up, Rant Line™? This is Montreal’s SOUL speaking. I just wanted to express my profound love of the HYPHY movement in San Francisco, aka the Frisco Bay. Mac Dre is the fucking shit. They are re-inventing rap. Also, Lil’ Wayne is becoming the first self-proclaimed cocaine fiend in the business rapping like Superman would if he could. Major props. Peace out. [BLEEP!]

F This is a message to the girl who said that Graham Van Pelt should not take off his shirt in Think About Life. Maybe that’s so, but he should definitely take it off when he’s doing Miracle Fortress. [BLEEP!]

F This is to the guy who complained about CJLO not being on the air. We were supposed to go on the air the beginning of the semester, but it got pushed back. So it’s looking like mid- to late-November at this point. But don’t worry, it’s in the works. As for the management: buddy, get your head screwed on straight. Don’t dis the management, because there’s a whole upper echelon of people that run that school that have a lot of PAPERWORK that they need to do. There is really good management at CJLO. They know what they’re doing and they’ll be putting on a lot of really good radio shows that you might want to tune in to before you start bitching about them. But the good news is what you anticipate is about to happen, so stay tuned. [BLEEP!]

M I just want to say rest in peace to OiNK.cd. It was the best thing that ever happened to my hard drive, the Internet and the music scene. I bought more merch and records and more concert tickets because of it and they should not have shut it down. Peace. [BLEEP!]

M Hi. This is less of a rant and more of a question. I’m a young-looking 34-year-old, freshly single guy and I’m looking at the Mirror’s Nightlife 2007 and it seems like all the photographs feature 18-year-olds. Where do the 34-year-olds, that age group, hang out? [BLEEP!]

M Yes, this is for stupid saying that SOARES ET FILS is a depanneur. It’s not a depanneur, it’s a grocery store. That’s why they have CHORIZO and stuff like that. You know, grocery stores used to be small and not as big as you suburban kids know of. Have a nice day. [BLEEP!]

F I mean, what the hell is up with there being no garbage cans on the streets of Montreal? The other day I was in the Plateau, walking along Rachel and I was EATING AN APPLE. So I finished the apple and I kept walking and started looking for a garbage can. And I walked maybe for about 10 blocks and I still didn’t find a garbage can. I realized that I was going to have to place this object on the street somewhere, because I don’t want to keep carrying it around and I don’t feel like going all the way back home to throw it away. So I ended up throwing it in the park, but it’s biodegradable, so I guess that’s okay. [BLEEP!]

F Hey, I’m calling because we never heard the end of that story with the PEANUTS being grown in Montreal. Like, whether they tasted good or anything? [BLEEP!]

M I have just got a question for all those well-off individuals who like to send their children to private schools. Now this is in reference to the FEMALE CHILDREN going to school. Now we all know that there are so many pedophiles and freaks out there, right? So I’ve got a question for these parents who want to give the best to their child: Why would you send your child to a school that dresses up your child like Sailor Moon, one of the biggest fantasies for all those pedophile freaks out there?! All they want is this little schoolgirl, right! Go on the Internet and just google the word SCHOOLGIRL and you’ll get a whole bunch of sites for porn and all of them will be dressed up like your daughters. See, I have no problem with your girls going to school in skirts, my only real big problem is when you can pretty much see their ass when they’re walking around in the metros and whatnot. I’m 26 years old, I’ve got a four-year-old daughter, I’m not interested in any girls under the age of 20, forget under the age of 16 or 15. But I still have a hard time not looking their way when they’re showing off CLEAVAGE AND ASS CRACK and thongs and knee-high stockings and, oh, I have no fucking clue, high heels, for God’s sakes!! These girls are dressed up with make-up on, with these short, short skirts, ah… anyways, I’ll just get to my point: If I was you and I really wanted the best for my child, I would go to your private school and I would insist that my child be given a skirt that is below the knee, not above the knee. That or pants and a really, really baggy sweater. Like, for the love of God, man, if you want to look out for your child, watch how she dresses and who she hangs out with! [BLEEP!]

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