Tattle teller

A person could spend all day wondering what bright future awaited the man who entered the Miami Springs, Florida, Washington Mutual Bank that sunny, mid-October morning. He might have unravelled the mysteries of the cosmos, crafted some timeless masterpiece or starred in a hit sitcom. Instead, thanks to the selfishness of the bank tellers, he’ll more than likely just do some time.

Having chosen robbing the bank to start the first day of the rest of his life, the unnamed suspect entered the Washington Mutual just after opening, gun in hand. His instructions were simple; hand over the money and don’t call the cops. Tellers complied with half his demands. One of the tellers, however, tripped the silent alarm, and by the time the man exited, police, who had been nearby doing school bus inspections, were already surrounding the bank.

According to officers, the suspect immediately dashed back inside and berated the tellers, in Spanish, for screwing him over. “You ruined my life,” he shouted. And then he was arrested.

by Scott Saxon