A touchy situation

Dear Sasha, After a particularly devious summer, I ended up spending some time with someone other than my main squeeze. I had quite a bit of fun with this person as I had my G-spot “awakened.” The techniques they employed were very new to me, and very successful. Now back to my main squeeze—how can I suggest such techniques without referring to another person?

I had inquired where these techniques were learned, and I was told “a video.” I have done research and explorations with the G-spot before, but without much success, i.e. it just didn’t feel that great. So now I am in search of a video that perhaps demonstrates this sort of play. The first one I tried was Nina Hartley’s Guide, but I didn't find what I was looking for. I would appreciate any advice you might have for me.

—Name Withheld, Naturally

Dear Naturally,

Really, how does one bring rewarding techniques learned in a deceitful situation back to the homestead without exposing the source? Or even if this isn’t the case and you’re in an open relationship, being sensitive to the possibility that someone’s “sexpertise” might injure another’s delicate sexual self-worth? I’m just hoping, Name Withheld, that the situation is the latter. Cheating on your partner, and so blithely on top of it, is rude.

There are a gajillion G-spot videos available but a good way to narrow down the ones that are legitimate (by that I mean instructional) is to go to the educational DVD page at Come As You Are (www.comeasyouare.com) or Good Vibrations (www.goodvibes.com) and start looking around, keeping in mind your paramour was a different person too, with different fingers and (sorry, incoming New Ageism but you’d better get used to it because many of these videos are chockablock with them) energy. Not everyone’s going to make you wet the bed the same way, but experimenting on your own with rigid, curved toys will also help you locate the release valve. And while you’re in there, don’t forget the mattress saving Luv Linen that will keep your bedding free from a soaking: www.luvlinen.com/index.html.

Dear Sasha, I would like to know if a man can enjoy this real looking, real feeling thing: www.fleshlight.com [the Fleshlight, readers, is a sleeve designed for male masturbation]. Don’t laugh at me—I am 22 years old and I think it is better than running from bar to bar. Did you hear something, I mean about their efficacy?

—Better Than Rape

Dear Totally Inappropriate Name,

At my local sex shop, they often joke that they should have a Fleshlight machine, like a soft drink machine, installed outside of the shop, they sell so many of them. I guess this is one attestation to their efficacy.

One thing that’s not funny though, is your handle. Better Than Rape? Of course masturbation is better than rape, you turd. So’s eating dog shit. So’s falling off your bike and cracking your head open, or any number of things you could do that don’t turn another person’s life inside out. Masturbation is not some shameful act and now I’m extra steamed because you’re going to get me talking like some crunchy West Coast sex therapist. Listen up, friend: jerking off is a beautiful thing, and men who do it should be proud to give themselves pleasure and learn about their bodies with such firsthand intimacy and I’m just going to stop talking before I say something sickening like “making love to yourself,” okay?

Dear Sasha, Have you heard of O.G. Mudbone? This guy is packing a lot of heat and certainly can squirt: www.freaksofcock.com/main.php.

—Robert

Dear Robert,

I hadn’t heard of the guy but thanks for providing a perfect example of both phony jizz and phony cock for my readers. Guys, follow the link to see. Take note: O.G always covers the base of his penis with his hand or hides it in his pants. His come, which splashes out copiously, appears to be emanating from the penis, which it probably is since there are prosthetic penises designed to do this now. Still, it’s a pretty good fake (circumcision scar and everything!) though it never really gets totally hard.

Got any questions for Sasha? E-MAIL: POULEDELUXE@YAHOO.COM