Stripper pole DIY

Dear Sasha,Recently my girlfriend and I were at a sex shop and saw what appeared to be a portable dancer’s pole called the Peekaboo that could be set up or taken down in any room in the house. We thought this seemed like a fun idea, plus, unlike a permanent pole, it wouldn’t require explanations when company gets a tour. Do you know any more about the Peekaboo pole dancing kit?

—D. Nelson

Dear D,

Not to be a party pooper but I’m a bit wary of things you hang upside down on—often when you’ve had a few cocktails to get you in the mood—being portable. It seems to me you’re just asking for a trip to the ER with the humiliating sex-related accident they’re probably seeing a lot of these days and indeed, “The Peekaboo Dance Pole is not a professional dance pole,” reads its Web site. “It cannot support your full body weight.”

As further warning, just Google “drunk girl falls off stripper pole” and watch the endless videos of idiots wiping out on cheap portables. I can’t decide which is my favourite—the one where the girl’s head sounds like a medicine ball hitting the ground or the one where the girl takes the whole kit down with her, a few seconds later her hand rising from the wreckage in the OK symbol.

That said, have a look at the Lil’ Mynx at lilmynx.com. They have a much sturdier system for their portable involving a ceiling mount that discreetly turns into a plant hook on the pole’s days off. They may be a little expensive ($250 American and up) but they’re safer for heavy action—I know two women who have a Lil’ Mynx model and neither is in a coma or on YouTube yet. One thing to consider is that some of their poles are made of polished stainless steel, a metal that is really difficult to grip, especially if you’re an amateur (again, check out the bachelorette mishap videos online. Most of those poles are made of steel). Because of that, I would be inclined to recommend one of their powder-coated poles over the stainless steel ones. They’re also cheaper than the brass poles some companies sell, brass being the acme of stripper pole metals. One of the reasons most strip clubs have brass poles is that brass is a soft metal that allows for a better hold, but companies that sell them for home use generally have them priced at around $500—a giant fuck up the ass with a sandpaper mitt.

If I were handy, I might consider building one myself. I spoke with Adrien Whan, the technical director at Buddies in Bad Times Theatre, who has built several stripper poles for Scandelles shows, the last being a totally sweet brass one. Here’s his advice: “The last one we made, we got a two-inch brass pole and a 1 7/8-inch steel pole to make it stronger [you insert the steel one into the brass one] from Solway & Sons Metal. The brass piece was only $108 and the metal insert was only $18. We then got a flange for the bottom. A flange is a cylinder attached to a flat base that can be screwed into the floor or a ceiling and the pole goes into the cylinder where it is tightened by a set screw.” This particular pole was 12 feet high—which means yours would be cheaper because it would likely be shorter—and supported a third of the way up by the stage. “If I was doing it in a small room, I would get a flange for the top as well,” Adrien says, then adds, “My friend set one up for his boyfriend in his apartment using the two flanges and it worked really well. When I was thinking about how to build one, I did a search on the Internet and found this too: instructables.com/id/DIY-Stripper-Pole!-(Stripper-not-included).” The instructions, by a jovial handyman named Dizzy Dave, are really cute. The only problem is that you sacrifice discretion for quality, since this one is not easily whisked away.

Got any questions for Sasha? E-MAIL: POULEDELUXE@YAHOO.COM