THIS WEEK: Ruins, Strawbs,
Cock ’n Bull!

PLUS: Potheads defend pot!!

M Hey, I was at THE STRAWBS show last night, my compliments to the FMPM organization. It was great to see these guys again. Thirty years and still going strong! [BLEEP!]

M This rant goes out to the HELIX HATER. You have every right to like or dislike Helix or any other group. Me, personally, I could take them or leave them—“Rock You” was the only good song they ever had. But I don’t have a problem with anybody else liking them if they so choose. For you to go off on anybody who likes any group that you don’t, well, that just comes off as ARROGANT. I’m sure if anybody did the same thing to you, you’d get pissed off. I like all kinds of music and I’m not going to have a problem with anybody who likes any kind of music. So, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to take my KISS shirt and get on with my wasted life. Have a good day. [BLEEP!]

F [Two girls, drunk] [Girl 1] Hey, it’s a rant. First time I call you guys. Fuck, what’s wrong with this city? We’re at ’80s night at Cock ’n Bull and there’s this guy that doesn’t know who are the Cure, doesn’t know London Calling, doesn’t have “Dancing With Myself” by Billy Idol, doesn’t know who are the Smiths. Where have the ’80s gone?! [Girl 2] Hey, I’m part two of the two drunk girls at Cock ‘n Bull on ’80s night. They need to get someone who actually knows some good ’80s music and not fucking Twisted Sister. What the fuck is this guy’s problem? Fuck the Cock ’n Bull ’80s night, man, they have got to get a new DJ. Okay, thanks, man, bye. [BLEEP!]

M Hey, I’m calling about the Ruins show, specifically to the guy who began assaulting me immediately after the show. I just want to say that I’m a MASOCHIST and I rather enjoyed it. If you want round two, you can meet me on the mountain next Friday. It was fun, we can do it again and I’ll give you a good butt-fucking. See ya. [BLEEP!]

M Hello. This rant is dedicated to the gomer trying to dis Public Enemy. I think maybe this rock ‘n roll acid-head should maybe take a break and comb his THINNING LONG HAIR that he’s hanging on to trying to survive here in the game, take a note and realize Public Enemy is already 20 years old and not to mention consciously speaking the truth. I am a white person and even I know that. You are obviously very fearful of the black hip hop culture and it’s a sad thing that you can’t recognize real in front of you no matter what culture it comes from. Yes, rock ’n’ roll is cool and yes hip hop is cool and yes blues is cool and yes, buddy, you are a fool. Peace. [BLEEP!]

M Okay, I just finished reading the Rant Line™ and there’s this guy talking about how Montreal weed is full of PCP. Listen, just because you grew up in the 1960s and you were smoking fucking parsley that wouldn’t get a CHIPMUNK HIGH doesn’t mean that the weed that we have now is chemically altered. Nowadays marijuana is not grown in dirt, it’s not grown in your GRANDMA’S BACKYARD, it’s fucking grown on tables hydroponically and that’s why it has crystals all over it and that’s why it’s so motherfucking strong. Get your shit straight and go buy yourself a copy of High Times magazine. [BLEEP!]

F Hey, this is for the old man ranting about all that weed in Montreal being laced with garbage. Buddy, this is the year 2007. If you look in my PARENTS’ BACKYARD, you’ll notice the plant is huge and full of little crystals. It’s not PCP or acid or cocaine—it’s called good grown weed. Peace. [BLEEP!]

M Yeah, this is going out to GRANDPA HIPPIE there, bitching about the Montreal weed. It’s not viable economically for people to put crack and speed and all this bullshit in weed! They’re not going to make their money! THC content is just higher than 40 years ago—you were smoking shit weed, now we got good weed. Stop your whining and stop making old people look bad. And check out some dazed and confused while you’re at it. Peace. [BLEEP!]

F Hi there. This is Mama Kind, I’m the senior editor of SKUNK MAGAZINE, which is published in Montreal. I can tell you, having worked in the industry for a long time and have lived all over Canada, that the Montreal weed is very good. The idea that marijuana would be secretly laced with PCP or coke is silly, simply because it would cost the dealers more money to put that in and it’s just a plant. Unless you’re foolish enough to buy pre-ground up weed, which you should never do, you shouldn’t have that problem. As far as anxiety goes, if you have anxiety, you could be smoking some weed that is TOO HIGH in THC, as opposed to CBDs—and that shouldn’t be a problem for most people, because those are mostly sativa plants and there are very few sativas floating around in Montreal, because it’s a southern plant. As for the crystals, of course there should be crystals on your buds—those are called tri-cones and those are the resin glands that hold not only THC but the 60-some-odd other cannabinoids that are found in cannabis, with THC being the most famous. It’s rants like this person that makes prohibition continue and it keeps cannabis illegal, a plant that no one has a right to enforce a law over. So I’m very sad about that, but do know, Montreal, that you have wonderful cannabis. Your BIKE DELIVERY SERVICES are amazing and congratulations on being a very pot-friendly city. [BLEEP!]

M Just want everybody to know that very soon you will all find out if it’s possible to GROW PEANUTS in Montreal. I’m trying to grow peanuts and they look like they’re almost ready. I’ll know within a week or two. Okay? Just keeping you up to date. Peanuts in Montreal. [BLEEP!]

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