Beating the bills

>> Free financial advice doesn’t lead to
riches but does help many in need

by CHRIS BARRY

Name: Pat St-Arnaud

Age: 42

Occupation: Mac tech guy/unofficial credit/financial advisor

Bio: This benevolent St-Henri stud and former collection officer for the federal government, when not running his Macintosh tech support business, has been offering “unofficial” credit and identity theft recovery guidance to any and all who might find themselves in one of these situations and not have a clue about what to do next. “For a lot of people, dealing with collection officers, making a budget, reading a credit report, knowing what to do when someone’s stolen your identity, these things are extremely complex and confusing to them. But for me, this stuff is extremely easy. So it’s nothing for me to just tell them what to do, and if it can make a big difference in a person’s life, then why not? My studies are BBA—HEC, and I’ve work experience in collection, credit, investments and finance. But I don’t expect any money for this service—if somebody wants to show me their appreciation, and people do, then that’s fine, but it’s not all that important to me.” If some prick has stolen your identity or if bill collectors are constantly breathing down your neck, contact him via help@mteqc.com.

Is it safe to assume asking for voluntary donations from broke, debt-ridden people is perhaps not the fastest way to get rich? “Hey, if I wanted to get rich, I would’ve stayed a financial officer. And sure, I like money, I like luxury, but I’m not overly attached to it. A big part of the reason I’m doing this is altruism, funny as that may sound. It really, really upsets me to see people being abused and ripped off.”

The primary thing that gets people way over their heads in debt: “Credit cards, definitely. But cell phone bills are a close second, especially with young people.”

How much power a bill collector actually has: “None. Except for government collection services, who can seize your salary and your bank account. But a collection agency? They can’t do much.”

Can a bill collector actually sue you? “Sure, but it’s highly unlikely. The cost of recovery doesn’t make it financially viable for them to start suing everybody. What they generally want is to negotiate with you. Most of the time, they’ll be very happy to cut your debt in half, sometimes even by three-quarters. But remember, it’ll probably still show up on your credit report for the next seven years.”

Why you might want to sympathize with all those sons-of-bitches calling you non-stop from 8 a.m. until 9 p.m. every fucking day looking for money you obviously don’t have to give them: Because it’s one of the shittiest jobs going. “The turnover is amazing. The salaries are miserable, you’re usually paid by commission and fired when you don’t meet your quota. That’s why you always see job openings in collection agencies.”

Childhood ambition: To become an alchemist “and invent a potion for long life to preserve my grandmother. Sadly, it didn’t work.”

Musical preferences: Thin Lizzy, Snowy White, Roxy Music.

Last book read: The Lazarus Effect, by Frank Herbert and Bill Ransom.

Words of wisdom: “Time is a great teacher but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.”

Comments: dimwit@hdot.net