Decline of Western stimulation

by JACK OATMON

It’s gotten to the point where just casually strolling down the main drags of the city in search of some hootch has become an errant and treacherous mission. As if the gaping, whimsically marked voids in the streets that are filled with jettisoned wine bottles and rusty rebar weren’t enough to warn us of the consequences of our generally bohemian state of affairs, now there’s a friggin’ “fissure” forming under Hudson’s Bay Company. Fissure?! What the fuck does that mean? Are they trying to tell us that it might not have been the best idea to gut the underbelly of the city, fill the cavern up with fashion boutiques and nightclubs, then use all the dirt to build an island for an amusement park, raves and punk rock festivals? Well, we’ve made our bed—complete with shag upholstery, vibrating massager and furry handcuffs—and it looks like we’re going to have to, err, sleep in it. So let’s celebrate our dilapidated obstacle course of a city this weekend with a holiday dedicated to not working, and not worrying about the city crumbling into a crevice, and let’s just get sloshed on 50 in an alleyway. In that spirit, I’ve got a suitably distracting line-up for you this week, so keep your head up and try not to plummet to your doom.

Starting tonight, Thursday, Aug. 30, Salon Daomé will be rumbling to the records of Mossa and Bleuchut. On Friday, the last day of August, weekly disco mainstay Loose Joints moves permanently to Academy, with inaugural NYC guest Jeffrey Sfire. Baile Funk all-stars Masala and Ivory Temple welcome DJ ECP and g.u.i.n.d.o.n at Zoobizarre. You also have the choice of two all-nighters: either hit Nuit Blanche at La Ronde for a turbulent ride (last I checked, La Ronde was a pretty easy bootleg—wink, wink) with Misstress Barbara on the decks or, better yet, cruise up to 7074 St-Hubert for the Endless Summer jam with DJ Cyan, Darcin, Des Cailloux et du Carbone, Heart & Soul, Imin, Monstre, Nuthre and Simon Called Peter. If you’re not at the SAT or at the Talib Kweli show on Saturday, and you’re in the mood for some sterile, space-alien house, witness Stephan Bodzin’s invasion of Mile End Bar. On Sunday night, those still flaming can burn out at Saphir with Bliss, Sean Kosa, Mary Hell and Plastik Patrik, but make sure to swagger across the street to Korova for Sexy Boy’s DJ set at Weekends Never End. Finally, the second Piknic Électronik of the weekend occurs Monday, when Neon brings in quasi-resident Tommie Sunshine along with core posse Jordan Dare, Thomas Von Party and Mark Dillon.

Aside from all that, those interested in truly wigging out large-scale for Labour Day should note that the monstrously popular Armin Van Buuren and Eddie Halliwell will be at a Bell Centre megajam called Sensation on Saturday night. If you want to see just what can be accomplished with two turntables and a couple of crossfaders, try youtubing Halliwell for a scene that makes a laptop look like an abacus. I guess that’s what happens when you’re a resident at BBC Radio 1.

Stay tuned to the disco channel next week when I run down all the best weeklies and residencies in town for the coming school year, as well as some sure shots for MEG and Osheaga.

Get what’s comin’ to ya! jack.oatmon@gmail.com