Come together

Dear Sasha,

I’ve been gay and enjoying great lezzie sex for quite some time now. My girlfriend and I take turns pleasing each other and although satisfying, I wonder if there is a way for both of us to come together, as I have in my previous heterosexual experiences. I am aware of double-ended dildos and the scissor position but unfortunately, nothing does the trick. Are you aware of any lesbians who have succeeded in this department who could offer advice or who know of any good toys that might help me achieve this?

Dear Girl,

The first thing that springs to my mind when I think about attempting synchronized female orgasm is the Magic Wand, a toy that you can tag-team without dampening its vibration (battery operated vibrators, on the other hand, tend to slow down when they are similarly compressed). I brought my Magic Wand to a sex party and had to prize it out from under a tangled heap of women because I’d had enough and wanted to go home (and if my Tupperware experiences have taught me anything, it was not to leave it there). By the time I rescued it, it was boiling fucking hot and yet the motor was still merrily whirring away.

It looks like what you’re really interested in, though, is a toy that penetrates you both simultaneously. I have to admit, I had little luck with the one I tried designed for double insertion, even though it’s more anatomically correct than the floppy old double-headed dong, obviously designed for porn. I’m talking about the Nexus from Vixen (check it out at www.vixencreations.com). It’s basically two different dildos stuck together, one curved up for the “giver” and one jutting out as per usual for the “receiver.” You can use it with or without a harness, but it’s more negotiable with one. If you find penetrative sex really stimulating, this may be the toy for you, but I just ended up cutting mine in half and now I have two perfectly good dildos.

There’s also an interesting toy called the Feeldoe (www.feeldoe.com). It’s the same concept as the Nexus, except the part designed for the “giver” is more of a bulb shape that tapers, presumably designed this way so you can clench it, and it comes in a vibrating option as well. I’ve ordered one. I’ll let you know how it works out for me.

Dear Sasha,

I have a male friend who went to three gay strip clubs hoping to be a dancer but was rejected by each of them, both before and after his auditions. One told him they weren’t looking for dancers of his type and the other said they wanted more muscular dancers. But two of the bars also told him to come back in three weeks because they might just use him. Is asking a dancer to come back after three weeks a standard rejection technique in the strip club industry, and is this a polite and diplomatic way of saying a firm no?

—Mel

Dear Mel,

Those of us who haven’t been up to a club’s snuff will tell you that yes, “come back in...” is a polite rejection. As for it being “firm,” the word, outside of the corporeal sense anyway, is inept when describing any strip club’s arbitrary hiring process. Perhaps your friend had a peep at the other dancers and thought, “I’m attractive enough to work here,” but there is a certain nepotism to it all. Dancers he may have perceived as being slightly off the mark might have gotten in the door as bartenders or other staff and were then able to work their charm with the management. Others may have their entrée facilitated by a friend who is a trusted employee, but as for new arrivals, if a club wants you, they will generally hire you on the spot, regardless of how many dancers they already have. Since many clubs don’t pay their house dancers (you often work for tips and in fact, pay them for the privilege), they can have as many on the floor as they want.

Got any questions for Sasha? E-MAIL: POULEDELUXE@YAHOO.COM