Howard and the angry inch

Without a doubt, it takes some kinda balls to get up the nerve to cut off one’s own balls. So if you had such a steely set, would you want to cut them off? For Buckinghamshire, UK, resident Howard Shelley, the answer is a newly falsetto-ed “Yes.” The 42-year-old happily married father of two says he always wanted to be a lady and didn’t want to wait two years for sex-change surgery or deal with doctors and their many questions.

“They kept asking if I was gay or a transvestite,” says Shelly. “I’m not.” Frustrated, Shelley turned to the Internet. “It’s amazing what you can find!” he said. In this case, a do-it-yourself castration guide. Shelley waited until his wife left the house, then dashed off to the washroom with a kitchen knife, some elastic bands and dreams of a shiny new vagina. Six minutes later, Shelley’s manparts were wrapped in a towel. He drove himself to his doctor’s office, was subsequently sent to hospital and three days later was back at work. His cock, however, was not.

Currently awaiting funding approval for female growth hormone treatments, Shelley says he’s also saving up for a full sex change operation.

by Scott Saxon