Assorted perversions

It’s Pride Week and you’re on the prowl, or you’re feeling unusually smutty in the sultry tail end of the summer, or you’re an old codger wondering where you can catch a glimpse of some lean, youthful arse without paying too pretty a penny this week. Consider the following options.

1. Bask in the exacerbated, esoteric reaches of Montreal’s musical minorities and subgenres. Feeling sassy, marginalized by the consumerist excesses of our idolatrous society and yet somehow lured in by the notion of pogoing and dancing the robot while wearing a zebra-print thong and pointy white leather boots? Well, le Festival Sperme et Bubble Gum might just be the perfect thing for you. It’s quite possibly the only two-day jamboree in the universe wholeheartedly dedicated to campy electro-thrash, garage go-go and perverted no-wave show tunes. All you have to do is penetrate le Divan Orange tonight, Thursday, Aug. 2, for Deluxe Mixed Nuts, Chernobyl Cha-Cha, Pédo Pédro et ses Enfants, Pornorobo and Sailboats Are White at the Soirée Sperme, or pop by the same venue on Friday for Matt Fuzz, les Temps Liquides, the O-Voids, Méta Gruau and Half Baked at the Soirée Bubblegum. Regardless of which adhesive goo you decide to dip into, I suggest you perhaps take proper protection along with you in the form of a blindfold, or maybe a cattle prod, in case things should get out of control.

2. Find out how the Maritimers have interpreted all this new-fandangled Web-spawned electronic genre-bending. Pretty well, as it would appear, in spite of a disturbingly homogenous band-naming trend that references two-lettered acronyms for appliance-related phenomena. That’s New Brunswick’s angst-ridden analog jockey A/V and Haligonian lo-fi hipster hop act AA Wallace at Sala Rossa tonight, Thursday, Aug. 2. AC/DC and ’70s NYC art punks Television have yet to announce their inclusion on the tour.

3. Get drunk in the street with Frigid one last time before he moves to Berlin in September. I know, I know. Who’s going to sing Stooges covers to us while covered in black slime once he’s gone? Who’ll be Plastik Patrik’s new nemesis? Who’ll go to the trouble of booking all the crazy acts and organizing countless queer electro parties and weeklies in the city? I can’t answer that, but I can tell you that Frigid will be seen, live and in person, probably wearing skin-tight vinyl pants, outside at the Berri Stage on Saturday evening. Not only that, but he’ll be joined by Belgian electroclash sensation Vive la Fête, all for free. I can also reveal that Frigid’s track “Bedroom Session” has recently been remixed by German electro punk Ascii.Disko and can be found lurking around on the Internet.

4. Party at the SAT, do dirty stuff in the unisex washroom. Remember partying at the SAT at least twice a month all last year? Remember all the weird stuff that goes on in the stalls there? Neon’s summer hiatus, combined with some new venue exploration on the part of other promoters, has left the modular giant somewhat quiet this year. Such will not be the case this week, what with the Peer Pressure anniversary slammer on Friday, Aug. 3 and the Daft Punk after-party on Tuesday.

This is my brain on YouTube at 5 a.m…jack.oatmon@gmail.com