Through the looking ass

by JACK OATMON

Remember that time you accidentally stumbled into a staff meeting at your school and received the sort of non-theatrical, genuinely-bemused hairy eyeball that teachers almost never display in class? Or maybe it was needing to dump so desperately that you charged into the nearest establishment only to find it was a therapeutic Tai Chi center for reformed Hare Krishna tearoom owners, and the calming trickle of a hundred ceramic fountains overtop arrhythmic harp plucking was sedative enough to make you skid your Chevrolets right there?

Well, that feeling that you’re somewhere you wouldn’t normally go is one of the most endearing aspects of my job. And I got a healthy dose of it this past weekend, including but not limited to venturing down to De la Montagne to see the beloved Chromeo live at Club 1234, the sort of place—call me crazy—I don’t normally waltz into for a sarsaparilla. The place was packed tighter than Stockwell Day’s hole and shaking like Stephen Harper’s polygraph test. The staff insisted—for our safety, presumably—that everyone have their inner thighs fondled on the way in after every cigarette or breath of fresh air. And, elitist, curmudgeonly bastard that I am, I have to say that an hour of Darude, Vengaboys and other such Eurodance pap wasn’t exactly reassuring. So let’s say tensions were a bit high, which made it all the more satisfying when Chromeo came on and charmed the tetchy crowd into submission with their smooth jams and slick demeanours. For the duration of their confidently executed set, I somehow managed to forget that I was jammed between seven different peoples’ asses at once. Bravo! Big thanks to the Peer Pressure posse and Kops crew for a hilarious night out, as usual.

For this weekend, if you want a walk on the other side of the tracks, check out the return of Berliner Paul Kalkbrenner’s killer psychedelic house set, live at Balroom tonight, Thursday, July 19. Twenty-four hour party person Peter Hook of Joy Division and New Order fame hits Parking with kindred spirit Jordan Dare that same night, while genre-benders extraordinaires Radioclit stimulate Academy alongside Brazil’s MC Gringo. On Friday, you can get “special pumpkin” with a side of cleverly delivered cheese from Italiano Benny Benassi at Stereo with DJ Arsen and Bender.

On Saturday, if you or a friend has wheels, local microhouse kingpins Éloi Brunelle, the Autist, Lebaron and Véga rock out poolside from noon to midnight for Monokini at the Saint-Tropez beach in St-Blaise-sur-Richelieu, a half-hour out of town. Admission is $10, and don’t forget your swimwear, sunscreen and water wings. More info at tistik.com. Closer to home on Saturday night, Corey K, Mayday, Cherry Cola, Bind and Vadah Boy hit Academy for Vagitron! It’s On!, a night of eclectic, electric jams.

Also, you might want to drop by OLDgOLD on Mont-Royal for a heads-up about the first in an upcoming series of funky, after-your-bedtime loft ragers hosted by the boutique, starting early this Sunday morning (wink, wink). And don’t miss out when local Socalled busts out balanced, soulful, non-denominational beats at Club Lambi on Wednesday, July 25. As a side note, I got a peek at the as-yet-unreleased video for my Banger of the Week, Socalled’s sweet, uplifting “You Are Never Alone,” and it looks set to spin heads.

Dancecrunk-electromash-no-rave revivalists unite!
jack.oatmon@gmail.com