Wasted whimsy

>> Eagle vs. Shark is relentlessly, unbearably quirky

by MARK SLUTSKY

When a movie features winsome, nerdy characters who speak in monotone and spend most of the movie standing in front of the camera in posed tableaux, colourful thrift-store set decoration and costumes, whimsical stop-motion animated sequences, awkward crushes, a wistful indie soundtrack, oddball relatives and a loose “let it all hang out” philosophy, as Eagle vs. Shark does, then that movie is practically begging to be described by one word and one word only. And that word is “quirky.” But there’s got to be a better way to describe this weird sub-genre of indie film.

May I submit “shitty”? Look, I’m a pretty tolerant guy, and I’m all in favour of nerds making out with other nerds and hearts being won via video game competitions and letting your freak flag fly in general. But this has gone too far. Napoleon Dynamite, you have a lot to answer for, namely terrible cutesy ripoffs like this movie, a hyper-affected, twee New-Zealand-by-way-of-Sundance (where it was workshopped) flick from writer/director Taika Waititi.

The movie stars Loren Horsley as Lily, a fast-food server secretly in love with video game store employee Jarrod (Jemaine Clement, of HBO’s new show Flight of the Conchords). The two get together at an “animal party” Clement throws (everyone comes dressed as an animal), and soon set off to his hometown, where he plans to get revenge on a bully who tormented him in high school. There, Lily meets his wacky family and their weird little relationship endures some random-seeming ups and downs.

Look, it’s never actually stated in the movie, but I think the characters in Eagle vs. Shark might be mentally disabled. They certainly act and talk like they are. But then again, it’s not just the leads and their awkward fumblings—it’s pretty much the entire cast. I guess this is supposed to be... funny? This particular type of stylized deadpan humour has gotten so abstracted at this point that it’s practically avant-garde.

Also, unbearable. Look, I wasn’t the biggest fan of Napoleon Dynamite, but at least it was its own thing, for the most part (Wes Anderson-isms aside). Eagle vs. Shark doesn’t even have the dubious benefit of originality—just lots of relentless, badgering quirkiness. I mean shittiness

Eagle vs. Shark opens this Friday, June 29

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