Phantom alibi

It might be more convenient to blame the problems of the American educational system on crowded classrooms, attention deficit disorders and an unwillingness to learn, but thanks to soon-to-be-former Dunnellon, Florida, middle school teacher Ralph Schollenberger Jr., another very legitimate culprit seems to be the hiring of mouth-breathing reprobates as teachers.

Arrested and charged with getting busy with a 15-year-old, the 35-year-old Schollenberger offered what he considered a viable defence. Yes, he’d recognized the girl as being his former student. Yes, he had sex with her. However, he explained, he’d confused the girl with her older, legal-age sister. Unfortunately for Schollenberger, the girl has no sister.

Police records state Schollenberger had a history of watching the girl play softball when she was his student two years ago. This past Valentine’s Day, Schollenberger met the girl again and allegedly brought the girl to his house for some romancing. The girl told police she had “sexual contact” with Schollenberger on two occasions since. Their relationship hit a snag when the girl’s mother heard about the liaison from a neighbour and called police. The next day, Schollenberger was in custody, where he remains in lieu of $30K bail.

by Scott Saxon