Blades of gory

Of the numerous ways in which a career burglar can go out, a Miami, Florida, man stumbled upon what might perhaps be the least noble. Choosing an industrial-sized ventilation fan as his preferred means of exiting the establishment he’d chosen for that night’s heist, the man accidentally kicked the fan’s power switch into the “on” position, quite literally cutting short his days of crime.

Anicette Pacouloute had been an employee of the Marantha Used Clothing store for a scant three days when she arrived to work and found a pair of human legs dangling from the fan’s encasement.

According to police, the man, described as being a “known burglar,” entered the shop through the fan shortly after its closing and went about stealing what Miami Police Lt. Bill Schwartz described as “just junk” until his failed early-morning exit.

One of the fan’s six blades was damaged in the incident, presumably the same blade that caught the man just below the rib cage and snuffed out his dumb life.

by Scott Saxon