Toss up your tomatoes

by JACK OATMON

Beleaguered university students, aging transvestites, surly urbanites and the seasonally depressed can all celebrate in unholy unison this week. As both the winter and the school year grind to a welcome close, students prepare for the carefree days on the horizon by hurling all their chipboard furniture, obsolete notes and thrift-store winter wear out into the streets, as a part of our culture’s equivalent of the Spanish Tomatina.

Like the Tomatina, where tens of thousands of Spaniards flood the streets of the town Buñol and throw overripe tomatoes at each other, this is a time of plenty for Montreal. To do their part for this cultural event, grumpy Montrealers come out of their hibernation spots to toss a few last callous comments and catcalls at the departing before beginning to wonder whether they were better off with the students than the coming tides of tourists. The booking agents and party-people in general are also in on the madness, making for a week in which you can’t huck a rotten tomato without hitting a bar stacked with killer beats, club kids in heat, fresh meat and shimmying feet. In an effort to contribute to this already volatile situation, the government is doing its best to throw juicy, fresh tax returns into the bank accounts of all the deadbeats and stoners in the city.

In short, dear readers, this is a prime week to be mashed, crunked and lecherous, so let’s get down to the itinerary. I know you’re not planning on missing out on Radio Soulwax tonight, April 19, at the SAT. The last one was jam-packed on a freezing Tuesday, so expect this one to be a lined-up, dressed-up rumbler featuring every variety of jarring synthesizer and greasy, cracking beat known to electroclash. You know 2manyDJs and Soulwax’s Nite Versions project, but make sure to get there mad early as not to miss Muscles who, in the tradition of Aussie contemporaries like Cut Copy and Van She, shows that, like the fashion featured in Mad Max movies, melodic new wave from Down Under is timeless, or at least extremely timely. If, by the way, I don’t see you at that show, the only excuses I’ll be accepting is that you went to Olympia to see seminal deviant Boy George DJing the Hugo Boss fashion show, or B.L.I.M. and D.A.V.E. at Saphir. Otherwise, you missed out.

On Friday, the choice is easily the Friendship Cove jam with Hexes and Ohs and Woodhands, both fine purveyors of cuddly club crooner beats. Saturday, it’s the Showdown at Lambi featuring Peer Pressure vs. vicious/delicious upstarts Nu Ravers on the Block. Furthermore, Supersystem may have broken down, but the funky punk still functions through Antelope, appearing at Casa del Popolo on Sunday, April 22.

As promised last week, our final order of business here shall be the Banger of the Week. It’s a toss-up between Kitsuné neophytes Punks Jump Up’s cutthroat rug-cutter “Dance to Our Disco” (I prefer the Nightmoves mix) and Brit-poppers the Aliens’ “Setting Sun,” which unites the Hammond organ and reckless abandon of the Doors along with a mean, twistable mod groove.

You tell me… jack.oatmon@gmail.com