Guy is dry

Dear Sasha

Whenever I use lube (usually K-Y), it becomes really dry under my foreskin afterwards. Would you know of any water-based lubes that will not have this effect? Also, what do you think would work good and natural to help the dryness? If I continue with this dryness, will it do harm in the long run?

—Dry Guy

Dear Dry Guy,

It is entirely possible that you are experiencing irritation from one of the ingredients in your lubricant. K-Y contains both glycerin and parabens, as do many water-based lubricants. On a different health note, there have been no formal studies proving that glycerin is a culprit behind yeast infections, though many women complain about or have self-diagnosed this (myself included) as an issue. Astroglide, a company whose lubricants contain glycerin, says that on one hand it isn’t true that glycerin causes yeast infections but on the other, “An existing yeast infection can be made worse by using products containing a large percentage of glycerin. This is because the sugars in glycerin act as a food source for the yeast. Women who are prone to yeast infections should use a lubricant that does not contain glycerin.”

There is, however, clinical documentation of people with allergies to parabens (the preservative in many lubes) and a skin rash is one symptom. You might want to look out for lubricants that instead use grapefruit seed extract as their preservative—Probe and O’My being two.

Astroglide, by the way, has a brand new lubricant that contains neither glycerin nor parabens and is not yet available in Canadian shops, though it is available through their Website—www.astroglide.com. Astroglide also offers free samples through the site, unfortunately not of the glycerin and parabens free product, though I ordered a bottle and have been giving it a whirl. I’ll let you know how it works out for me. There is an extensive list of parabens and glycerin-free lubes here: http://sexuality.about.com/od/personallubricant/index_a.htm. Many sex shops carry dollar samples of these lubricants. Why not purchase a variety and do your own tests?

As for something to ease the drying, assuming it doesn’t go away on its own with your new choice of lube, I would give a product called Stroke It by the Lilith Moon company—also recommended for wanking and a favourite of my boy’s—a shot.

Dear Sasha

I’m looking for an etiquette book, ideally the focus would be on things like conversational do’s and don’ts, body language and smooth reactions to awkward situations. It would address both everyday interactions and dating.

—Daniel

Dear Daniel,

The everyday interaction business falls outside the realm of my dubious expertise so I’ll just address the sexual/dating aspects. As you may know, I can be a total cow about anything related to the bourgeois, bohemian empire that is Nerve, and as far as I can remember (I forget nearly everything in the precise amount of time it takes me to consume a cocktail: three minutes. Coincidence? You decide) this contempt extended to Em & Lo’s sex etiquette book, published three years ago.

I cracked it open again because it’s always possible I was in a tizzy that those skinny New York bitches stole my idea but nope, it peeved me to the max this go round too. Every time they said something relevant and I found myself applauding their cheeky but scrupulous know-how, BANG something would come out of left field and knock me on my ass. I wondered if Em and/or Lo had actually ever attended an orgy or had a threesome, if either had dealt with STIs personally (if they had, they would certainly not suggest politely accepting a new lover’s used toothbrush) and my God, how did they expect me to ever enjoy pissing on someone again when they refer to the genteel golden shower enthusiast as “the tactful tinkler”?

And yet, if you can get past the ceaseless winking and nudging and Emily Postian smoothing of skirts and qualifying of adjectives, there are some good tips to get you over awkward dating hurdles. Take Em and Lo with a salt mine, is all, and don’t worry: with sex now a credible topic for mannerly concerns, there will be more books on the way. Maybe even from me.

Got any questions for Sasha? E-MAIL: POULEDELUXE@YAHOO.COM