Laundering no money

by CHRIS BARRY

Name: Charles Baumgarten

Age: “A lot older than I want to be.”

Occupation: Proprietor of Buanderie du Parc (3486 Parc)

Bio: This enigmatic Rigaud stud and former CEGEP English professor was busy labouring in the high tech sector when it “foolishly” dawned on him that there might be easy money in the coin-operated laundromat biz. Eventually purchasing a small handful of laundromats across the island, Charles says he quickly learned that “there’s no such thing as easy money, there’s a lot of work involved in owning a laundromat. Forget all the maintenance on the machines, just the work you have to put in for the government to stay legal is enormous—and it’s not like I get anything back from them.” Having recently sold off his burgeoning laundromat empire, he now focuses his attentions on his one remaining outlet on Parc Avenue, which proudly serves the laundry needs of the McGill Ghetto. He drives a 2002 VW Golf Diesel.

Something he hadn’t anticipated when getting into the glamorous world of laundromat ownership: “The amount of maintenance needed on these machines. I’m pretty handy and I can fix stuff, but now they have all these fancy electronics on them that you can’t fix yourself. And these machines are designed to break after awhile. I call it predatory engineering. The marketing is predatory, the design is predatory—it’s the new world, I guess.”

Something many people don’t understand about the intricate mechanics of doing their laundry: “They use far too much soap. If they don’t see bubbles they don’t think it’s washing. But you try and explain this to them and they… well, they know better. So you shrug your shoulders and then every year you have to ream out your waste pipes because they’re so clogged with the gunk from too much soap. And if you don’t do it yourself, well, you’re looking at $75 an hour for a plumber!”

One reason why his machines need so much maintenance: “Because people constantly overload them. “It’s not so much malicious—many people do it just to try and get their laundry over with quickly. Except you don’t get a good wash when you do that. Laundry is one of those things everybody thinks they know how to do, but they don’t. I’ve had people come in here, put their clothes in the machine, pour half a bottle of bleach on them, and only then put in the water. Ha, and then they wonder why their clothes have disintegrated and want to blame me for it. You’d think something so simple would be second nature to people, but no. I recently had to replace a motor on one of my machines. Just the motor itself cost me $1,200—and I did all the labour myself. All because one person was trying to save, like, one buck? You try and stop people before it happens but it’s awkward, having to watch people so closely. Still, what are you going to do?”

Last book read: War and Peace, by Leo Tolstoy

Musical preferences: Buck 65, Mozart.

Words of wisdom: ““You want a pithy saying? I have no pith.””

Comments: Dimwit@openface.ca