This week: Priestess, Road Bones, Degeneration Overdrive!

Plus: Hot bisexual bitches, drunk dishwashers!!

“edited” by AL SOUTH
sub-edited by ROGER ARGENT

M Hi, I’m calling in response to the rant about the scene dying along with l’X. Well, I saw a show last week at Café Chaos with Road Bones and Dutch Oven and they are proof that the scene isn’t dead but still kicking—just in different places. If you’re looking for independent rock ’n’ roll shows, check in a local independent zine like Degeneration Overdrive or other CREDIBLE SOURCES such as the Mirror. Keep your eyes on the streets and in record stores. Be responsible listeners and keep looking for independent garage rock ’n’ roll. Later. [BLEEP!]

M To the moron who slagged Mike Metal: Montreal is very fortunate to have Mike Metal on a radio station, period. Not only is he an excellent producer who works very early on Sundays and Saturdays doing tons of radio programming, but he put together the only metal show that Montreal has. And do you think it was easy to get a metal show on a COCK ROCK station like CHOM? Thank the metal gods that Metal Mike is in Montreal doing that show or else you would have nothing. And, trust me, he has a passion and a love for metal that most people don’t. Radio is a tough business and Mike is heads above everybody else in it. Just be grateful that you have someone who actually knows what they’re talking about in heavy metal on the radio in Montreal. [BLEEP!]

F Rant Line™, question: Am I the only one that believes that there are cities in Peru that have better radio stations then we do here in Montreal? Am I getting bad signals? Can anybody help me? Please? I like music. Thanks. Peace. [BLEEP!]

F Hey, this is to the guys who keep bad-talking Robin. You guys don’t know your asses from your elbows. Robin’s a great musician. He’s talented and unique, unlike all you other guys that steal your image from past but not forgotten bands. Man, we can tell at first glance who you wanna be like and we know you’ll never measure up to them. Man, you all don’t know a good thing when you see it. What Robin lacks in seriousness, he makes up for in loyalty, sincerity, love, kindness and spontaneity. Robin has more spirit and soul in his little finger than you do in your whole body. You guys suck. Yeah, that’s what I said. [BLEEP!]

M For the douchebag that called in last week talking shit about Bionic. You don’t know shit about music, pal, if you did, you’d realize that they tore me a new fucking hole. These guys were the shit, opening up for Priestess, who tore me another fucking hole. Bionic, Priestess at the Barfly, it was fucking nuts. We’re talking FLYING BODY PARTS, mosh pits, fucking swimming in all types of shit. Some stank motherfuckers on stage, it was great. So, yeah, cock-ass, why don’t you learn a little bit about music before you open your freaking mouth? [BLEEP!]

M I think Priestess and Wolfmother should create a mega-rock band and call themselves Über Supernova. [BLEEP!]

M I’d just like to say that everyone that dines on St-Denis, goddamit, don’t cork your wine bottles and take them home. I represent a large community of busboys and waiters and dishwashers—a whole chain of DRUNKARDS—who need to get drunk in this world. For fuck’s sake, leave them for us. [BLEEP!]

F This goes out to about 99 per cent of people I see on fucking buses to the point that I had to leave a rant. People, we do not want to hear your music, you with your GAY CELLPHONES, playing videos aloud in buses! It’s also fucking annoying when you guys are listening to your headphones, all we hear is tick, tick, tick. People don’t wanna hear that! I hope all your iPods fucking electrocute you and you all fucking fizzle away listening to your crunk music. Goodbye. [BLEEP!]

M Anybody out there that smokes weed or does any kind of drug, mind-altering drug, owns a television with built-in captioning and only has an ANTENNA, try watching one of those kind of channels that you get really kind of foggy but that you can still watch and hear, try watching those on close-caption. It’s a trip. It’s a screen full of letters, partial words, AMPERSANDS and various other forms of punctuation. I think it’s great, I think it’s something to be seen and something to be mentioned. [BLEEP!]

F To the hot chick wondering where all the beautiful bisexual women are. I’ve been asking myself the same damn question. With an island full of attractive and open-minded women, one would think this would be much easier. Hot chick, if you wanna ponder the question further, feel free to drop me a line at beautifulbimtl@hotmail.com. [BLEEP!]

F I’m also a bi-chick who’s looking to hook up with other bi-people, maybe organize an ORGY this year. You can hit me up at biparty2007@gmail.com and we’ll talk. Bye. [BLEEP!]

F Seems like everybody’s always wondering where the lady-loving ladies are. They’re in some unexpected places like Aux Vivres on Wednesday night for the comedy show. Last week, there were chicks teaching chicks how to tie ties. It doesn’t get gayer than that. [BLEEP!]

F Hey, Rant Line™. It’s the fucking beautiful bisexual bitch calling to all those hot chicks who want to get together. Meet me at Bifteck, Thursday, January 18. I will be the cute chick with the SCHOOLGIRL OUTFIT kicking ass on the pool table and converting all those straight chicks. Be there or be square. [BLEEP!]

Next week: Open forum

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