The new Hitcher begins with an incongruously sober statistic about highway fatalities. From there, as the inane mall-punk soundtrack kicks in over TV-commercial-style shooting and editing, it doesn’t look good for this remake of a film that was no masterpiece to begin with. A youthful couple, Grace (Sophia Bush) and Jim (Zachary Knighton), head out on a road trip to New Mexico. Along the way, they make the grave tactical error of picking up hitchhiker John Ryder (Lord of the Rings’ Sean Bean), who proceeds to spend the entire film pursuing them, tormenting them and killing everyone who gets in the way.

First-time director Dave Meyers does a workmanlike job with the slim material, showing a knack for suspenseful manipulation (he even throws in a Hitchcock clip at one point in case we didn’t get the references). Bean is okay as the titular bad guy, though Hauer has pretty big shoes to fill when it comes to creepy villainy. As for the leads, Bush is just a pretty face and Knighton isn’t even that.

As with the spate of recent horror remakes, the question “what’s the point?” can’t help but raise its head here. The film is basically one long chase scene; the two victims have no character to speak of, and Ryder’s motivation for his rampage is never explained. There’s nothing remotely innovative about the film, either narratively, visually or thematically, nor does it push the limits of terror or gore unlike recent horror originals. It has no atmosphere, no comic relief, not the slightest cinematic idiosyncrasy. About the best you can say is that it’s competently made; Bay and his crew are evidently counting on that being good enough for today’s horror viewer.

The Hitcher opens Friday, Jan. 19

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