by CHRIS BARRY

Name: Danny Kuldip

Age: 49

Occupation: Grocer/Faith healer

Bio: When this genuinely committed Park Ex resident isn’t busy running his neighbourhood grocery store on Liège, he’s in cahoots with the Almighty to cure people of whatever it is that might be ailing them. Raised a Hindu, Danny says he first realized he was “a messenger of God” about 20 years ago when he suddenly started having premonitions. Not entirely sure it was actually God who was speaking to him at first, he says it all became pretty clear when he started writing his book For the Best of Humanity, and God came to him in a dream wondering why His name wasn’t listed in the credits, prompting Danny to immediately add “by the grace of God” to the text right above his own name. To read their book or contact Danny for a little free healin’, go to www.freewebs.com/theforcehumanity. “There’s no charge for the book either. I just want to get the message out to the people.”

What made him decide he had the power to heal? “My spiritual guide told me. He was a guy who used to come to my store but he’s since suddenly vanished. He might have been an angel, I’m not sure. I then begged God to show me how to heal, how to pray for the people, and I’ve been doing this ever since.”

How his faith healing thing works: “If people want me to help them, they have to do something for me. I don’t take money, but if someone wants to give me a tip, well, you know, who am I to say no? I don’t ask people to change their lifestyles or religions, I don’t even ask for people to believe in God. I only ask that, ‘From now on, you will think before you speak,’ and when I’m finished my healing that they say, ‘Thank God.’ Then, the amount He wants to help them is up to Him, not me.”

Does he ever extract jelly-like objects from people’s abdomens like charlatans do in Third World countries where education is in short supply? “I’m not that kind of faith healer. With me, I pull the sickness out of people using my heart—and God. Whatever pain they have comes through my heart and I pass that pain on to God, begging that He have a little mercy for them.”

Is it painful having some stranger’s genital herpes passing through the ol’ ticker? “It doesn’t hurt like that, it’s a spiritual hurt.”

Something that confuses him greatly: Why the people he cures don’t go spreading the word around about his faith healing talents. “I don’t know, but they don’t tell friends, family. Maybe they’re afraid of what people will think of them. This faith healing thing, not everybody has the knowledge to understand it.”

Last book read: The Holy Bible.

Musical preferences: Jim Reeves.

Fave TV channel: The Lone Star network

Words of wisdom: “If we humans would only try to feel God, this earth would be like heaven."

Comments? dimwit@hdot.net