by JOHNSON CUMMINS

There’s hardly a shortage of self-professed rock ’n’ roll bad boys these days, but the Heart Attacks, hailing from Atlanta, prove to be bad to the bone. Just check out their rap sheet—excuse me, I mean bio.

Drummer Brad (no last name, natch) was recently shot three times. The band has been barred from every club but one in their hometown for inciting fights with patrons and promoters. They’ve all received serious beatings, including bass player Paulie visiting the emergency room twice in a two-week period—with the last visit a result of being beat up with bricks, at gunpoint. In fact, this last incident was payback for the band and their friends getting into a brawl which ended with an unnamed band member breaking a pool cue over the head of one of their rivals. Not bad for a band barely out of their teens.

“I’m not really proud of the things we’ve done, but it happens,” says singer Teenage Haircut (better known to his accountant as Chase Noles). “I wouldn’t want some kid reading this, thinking violence is cool or anything, because I’ll be the first one to admit that some of the stuff we do is just fucking stupid. I mean, we’re really lucky just to be alive, and there are some things that have happened where I can’t believe something worse didn’t happen. We’ve stayed at people’s houses and just trashed the place, setting off fire extinguishers and stuff. I kind of feel bad about it now, but sometimes, when we get drunk or whatever, stuff like that just happens because we think it’s funny. I guess we just have a strange sense of humour.”

The Heart Attacks’ dalliances with danger could be somewhat questionable when you get a gander at these glamour pusses. They hardly carve a picture of cutthroat gangstas or people you would fear in a dark alley. Hell, without mincing words, they look just downright (ahem) poncey. “You have to remember that I live in Atlanta,” says Mr. Haircut, “which is just full of rednecks and hip hop street gangs. When I walk out of the house every day looking the way I do, people want to beat me up because they really don’t know where I’m coming from. It’s funny that people who see us think we’re this kind of glam kind of band or whatever, but I fucking can’t stand bands like Mötley Crüe and Hanoi Rocks.”

Beer buccaneers

Listening to the half-hour of fury that is the Heart Attacks’ debut, Hellbound and Heartless, it becomes quite clear that they indeed have nothing in common with most of the ’80s hair farmers from the Sunset Strip. Songs like “Runnin’ With a Gang” and “Summer of Hate” smack a hell of a lot more of piss and vinegar than lipstick and eyeliner. To further differentiate them from the rock ’n’ roll poseurs, the band is signed to Hellcat, Tim Armstrong of Rancid’s label, with Rancid’s Lars Frederiksen manning the production helm. It even features a guest appearance from the queen of rock, Joan Jett.

Landing on Hellcat was a result of hardheaded perseverance. The band showed up to do a 15-date Warped tour, only to find out that they weren’t actually booked on any of the dates. Instead of going back to Atlanta with their tails between their legs, the Heart Attacks stuck it out and actually made all of the Warped stops, despite the fact they were only able to squeeze onto five dates.

“We had this big bus that broke down all the time, but we ended up paying for the tour by buying all of this beer and setting up a bar on our bus, which we dubbed the Pirate Bar for obvious reasons. It was totally illegal, but it was so much fun. We passed on our CD to Tim [Armstrong] on the tour, and he really liked it, and when he found out we were going to sign to another label, he asked us to do the record with him. A month later, we were in the studio.”

Despite the future looking bright for the Heart Attacks, Haircut’s glam roots finally shine through his peroxide mane when he offers the obligatory quote about living fast, dying young and leaving a good-looking corpse.

“I just turned 20 and, ever since I was a kid, I just kind of knew I would be dead by the time I hit 23. I guess I’ve got three years left, so hopefully we can get at least two more records out before then. Looking back at some of the shit I’ve been through, I still can’t believe I made it this far.”

With the Queers and the Riptides at Foufounes Électriques on Wednesday, Jan. 17, 9 p.m., $12

>> Music Listings