The one thing that overrides my categorical disdain for wrought-up holiday consumption is the idea of all you optimistic sweeties plunking down your hard-earned coinage for unavailing erotic gifts based on hype hype hype (of which there is plenty when it comes to such things). Please let me take this opportunity to pass on my extremely good taste and see if you don’t get an extra special holiday kiss because of it.

Titillating toys

I am a huge fan of marital aids that are both practical and pleasing to the eye. There have been a few intriguing technological advances in sex toys of late, but none has caught my attention quite like a number called The Cone, a large, eponymously shaped silicone vibrator with a wide, flat base. The design antithesis of most portable sex toys on the market, it’s excellent for a few reasons. It’s got 16 vibration patterns and a 3000rpm, 3-volt motor that is nestled safely in the centre of the toy. Since there are very few products that facilitate the grinding astride action that arouses so many people, it’s next-level shit for all you girls and boys who get off humping pillows. And seeing as how it requires little hand co-ordination, it’s a great option for folks with certain mobility and dexterity issues, www.conezone.org.

Njoy is a company with a mere five products to offer but each is of impeccable quality with sexy, sterile Philippe Starck allure. I can speak very personally for their medical-grade stainless steel butt plug shaped like a big fat strawberry and polished to a mirrored pitch, an item that also makes a stunning (though heavy) piece of jewellery hung on a leather cord. People rave about Njoy’s Fun Wand too, also made of medical grade stainless steel—on one end, a nice smooth knob for G-spot spelunking, on the other, three sweet nodules for anal probing. Check them out online at www.njoytoys.com. They are as exquisite in person as they are in photos.

Glass dildos are highly stimulating items for people who like super rigid insertables and they come in spectacular colours and shapes, creating a beautiful, psychedelic contrast against the yielding folds of wet skin. I recommend looking into ones designed by Levi Belber of Standard Glass.

The Fun Factory has been making silicone vibrators and dildos for a decade and they’re often on the vanguard of multifunctional technology, one piece being the Sinnflut, a cordless, rechargeable, waterproof vibrator in silicone. See www.funfactory.de for details.

Vixen made my favourite toy last year, The Tex, a squashy but firm “realistic” dildo in pure silicone. The company now has a full line of sizes in what they call VixSkin. I’m still very fond of mine. www.vixencreations.com.

Between the covers

Lost Girls by Alan Moore and Melinda Gebbie. Sadly lacking in the boudoir these days is sumptuous, elegantly detailed erotica in big hardcover editions. Lost Girls is a totally pervy, totally genius Art Nouveau re-imagining of the lives of Dorothy, Wendy and Alice by the author of V for Vendetta and his immensely talented fiancée. The pair became engaged during the creation of the book, about which Moore joked to avclub.com, “I’d recommend to anybody working on their relationship that they should try embarking on a 16-year elaborate pornography together. I think they’ll find it works wonders.”

Fun Home by Alison Bechdel. I think I freaked out Bechdel at her Canadian book launch by loudly threatening to hunt down and kill anybody who made a crappy movie out of her graphic novel (Hello, Art School Confidential anyone? Read issue #7 of Dan Clowes’ Eightball for the superior version) but for now, the book... how many more glowing adjectives can I shower on it? It’s a fucking tour de force of nature and is widely available in stores.

Best Sex Writing 2006, Cleis Press. Everything you want in a collection of sex essays from the academic to the scientific to the personal to the erotic and by and large superbly written. Go Cleis Press, Go! Visit www.cleispress.com.

Got any questions for Sasha? Email: POULEDELUXE@YAHOO.COM