M Yeah, what’s up? This is Chef in rebuttal to the rant left about the Peer Pressure rant that I left a couple weeks ago. Evidently, you know I give massages, you know I’m a therapist, you know I do physio. If you’re so informed, then why do you seem to think that I benefit from these rants that I leave? In fact, you couldn’t be further from the truth, buddy. I didn’t make a cent off these parties, zero, and I never intended to. I had a good time that night and I left a message to let people know and that if they weren’t there, they should come to our next one, which is December 16 at Academy with Kid Sister. And calm down: there will be no NAKED PEOPLE for all those that get offended. And also, I wasn’t on coke, I wasn’t on drugs. I drank a few drinks. And I had a good time. If you let a few people on coke, standing around, acting all CHUMPY, ruin your night, then I’m sorry, I feel bad for you, you know? Like, bust outta your bubble. Peace. [BLEEP!]

M Oh, boy. This is the DL and I run Peer Pressure and I want to clarify some things. First of all, I never paid anyone to get naked. The God’s Girls wanted to promote their site in Montreal and wanted a DOPE PARTY to hang at. No one knew they were gonna get naked and if I’d paid them to do so, I wouldn’t have told the bouncers to tell them to put their shit back on. I apologize to anyone who was offended. I thought it was out of place and kind of corny, myself, for the record. Good music and good people is all I need. Second of all, the Chef called of his own free will and wasn’t speaking on behalf of the Crew. He got a little excited and decided to share the excitement with the readers. Personally, I wouldn’t have ever called to speak on the success of my own events and neither would anybody else in the crew. But, hey, to each his own. The last thing, to the dude who felt the need to not only dis the party but everyone who attended too: if you don’t like the party, then just don’t come. I’m not gonna bother dissing you because I’d rather focus on the hundreds of people who love what we do rather than one GRUMPY hater. You should also know that the more you hate on what I do in public, the more free publicity I get. So keep on drinking that HATER-ADE, hater. I’m enjoying every minute of it. And I’m Audi 5000. [BLEEP!]

M I’m calling because I just came back from the Flight Night party and I was expecting a loft party. But it was just full of asshole security guards, BUS PASS GANGSTERS from Laval blowing their telemarketing paycheques and a bunch of ginos from the South Shore. If I wanted to go around with that type of people, I would go to Crescent Street and choose some random place. [BLEEP!]

M To the guy who got disillusioned and complained that metal is not much of a rebellion, holy shit, how old are you? 50? Metal hasn’t been rebellious for a long long time. Look at Limp Bizkit or Linkin Park. That’s old. Now, if you wanna be rebellious, you gotta be emo and CUT YOURSELF. Have fun. [BLEEP!]

M Hey, this isn’t so much of a rant as it’s an RIP to Dave Wenger. Dave Wenger died on St-Laurent around Rachel, the subject of a hit and run. Dave Wenger was the most brilliant songwriter and the least successful at the same time. And he inspired so many bands that hail from Victoria, that helped make the Montreal music scene famous—they all went to the Dave Wenger school of songwriting and singing and music-making. Like Wolf Parade or Fashion Parade or whatever the fuck they’re called now that Dan’s busy getting his hair straightened every week. Whatever. Okay, a little bit of a rant there but, yeah, those guys all learned to play music because of Dave Wenger and Dave Wenger’s spirit will be kept alive by unstable rock stars like Tam, who will continue to play his songs. But Dave Wenger was the real fucking deal. And he didn’t try to get famous by stealing other people’s songs and he didn’t learn how to write songs in order to get famous. He was an artist and shit had to come out and it was a way of expressing himself and a way of dealing with his life and he’ll be sorely missed. But, I tell you what, he probably won’t be missing much. R.I.P. Dave Wenger. Fuckin’ the best. [BLEEP!]

M Hi. I just want to send a big fucking thank you to whoever bought Einstürzende Neubauten’s Tabula Rasa CD last Tuesday at HMV. I showed up in person, was very happy to see one copy. Went off for three minutes to go to the bank and come back, the CD was GONE. Statistically, what are the odds that two people show up on the same day to buy the exact same CD from a relatively obscure German industrial band within a period of 10 minutes?! Regardless, the CD is gone. I have to order it off eBay for twice the price and wait a few weeks for it to get here! Anyway, I can’t blame whoever bought it for having good taste. Enjoy the CD, bastard. [BLEEP!]

M What’s up, suckers? Now that BILL HAUGLAND retired, does that make Mitsumi Takahashi single? Let me know. Peace. [BLEEP!]

M Are you sure the William Shatner sex dream wasn’t a nightmare? [BLEEP!]

F Do any of the ladies here find themselves eyeing the CROTCHES of certain men? Because I sometimes, seriously, can’t look away. [BLEEP!]

Next week: Open forum