Based on the type of people normally spotted huddled around sports bar flat-screens, it’s a wonder anyone would even raise an eyebrow if someone strolled in soaked in urine and eating his own feces in a stale Kaiser roll. Nonetheless, in Fort Worth, Texas, Eric Jennings Kisiah, a patron of the Tumbleweeds Sports Bar, took great offence when another patron didn’t wash his hands after using the facilities. Nothing wrong with that, per se, but Kisiah had issues that went far beyond using soap.

Witnesses say Kisiah approached the urinator and two of his friends, called them names, condemned them as “dirty” and threatened to “slash their throats.” Of course, no one ever falls for that old “slash your throat” stuff, and the men continued about their business. Police believe that’s when Kisiah went to hide in the bushes outside.

Kisiah is accused of laying in wait for the men and attacking them with a knife once they came out of the bar. One man had to be hospitalized for stab wounds; Kisiah is stewing in a jail cell in lieu of $20,000 bail.

» Scott Saxon