Dear Sasha: I’m a dyke and hallelujah! I’ve finally met a woman who likes porn as much as I do. It’s been an integral part of my sex life since I was down on it back in university along with my sisters in women’s studies (I often wonder how many others were secretly watching it after outraged discussions). There’s just one thing—my girlfriend likes gay male porn. Nothing else and I mean nothing else gets her off quite like watching two boys fuck and suck. My tastes are all over the place and I’ll even settle for obviously fake lesbian crap because that was pretty much all I got for the first 10 years. But the gay boy stuff? This is a whole new thing to me—I’m a bit freaked out, and, to be totally honest, grossed out by it. Just wondering what you thought about this and if, capital I capital F, I can get past the yuck, do you have any suggestions for porn we can watch together? Anything that has boy/boy AND girl/girl AND maybe even the odd het scene? —The Happy Hypocrite

Dear Happy,
(Stands up sheepishly) Hi, my name is Sasha, and I watched dirty, dirty porn after outraged discussions with my college galpals too. (Sits down to conceal boner).

Judging your partner’s taste in smut can be a slippery, rocky, ego-bashing slope, because you might just find that despite the fact that they can’t get enough of you in person, their porn interests do not include representations of you at all. For me, the most appealing aspects of porn are the impossible and transgressive acts—the ones that land you in the hottest circle of hell, the ones that make you go, “How the heck did they get that in there?!”

And as I’ve come to discover, loads of lesbians like gay boy porn. Really the thing that’s most surprising to me is that you haven’t run into one yet. Here’s what my friend, queer comedian and gay porn aficionado Deb Pearce has to say: “There are a few reasons why it turns me on more than straight or lesbian porn. I have never actually had sex with a guy and I’m not sure that I ever will, so there is a partial forbidden fruit aspect when it comes to men physically and sexually. Also, I think men’s bodies are sexy and I love to look at a physically fit male getting sexually aroused by another male. As far as penises go, once in a while I would love to have one of my own so it turns me on to watch them climax and ejaculate. I enjoy the no muss, no fuss sex in my gay porn—they just walk in, whip it out and start jerking, sucking, playing, fucking or whatever.”

Sooo... anything out there for the two of you? The terrain is comparatively sparse, I’ll tell you that. Curious features serviceable though rather uninventive sex, but it’s wall-to-wall and jumps from boy/boy to girl/girl to all the in-between permutations, so it’s good value for those little snapshots that help you crescendo.

Despite the blechy support-group-for-pansexuals title, Slide Bi Me is really good and features a wonderfully mixed bag of players: multiracial, fatties, skinnies, butches, nellies, daddies and femmes. This kind of conscientious casting often heralds wishy-washy tokenism or bland gateway smut but not here. There are loads of moments worth filing in the masturbation cabinet and it is genuinely funny too—is that a Jello mould of Texas that guy is dipping his balls in? Seriously, when was the last time you laughed during a porno other than out of sheer incredulity?

If you do become interested in tucking into some gay male fare with your ladylove, here are a few suggestions that may appeal to the genre fan in you, simply because of physical dexterity, technical merit and costuming: the Fallen Angels series (#4 just slays me) and Deb’s personal fav, Technical Ecstasy.

Got any questions for Sasha? Email: POULEDELUXE@YAHOO.COM