by MALCOLM FRASER, ANNE MARIE MARKO and CHLOE ROUBERT

The Guardian

Ten years on from his brief, disastrous post-apocalyptic phase, Kevin Costner continues to atone for his cinematic sins by offering yet another archetypal Costner role. Here, he’s Ben Randall, an aging U.S. Coast Guard rescue swimmer who, after a botched rescue, gets assigned to the training academy to mould the next generation. Notable among these is Jake Fischer (Ashton Kutcher), who’s so cocksure he aspires to unseat Costner as the academy’s record holder. Costner plays the hard-ass, but all the while his own insecurities continue to plague him.

Just about everything in the film is done by the book. There’s the frustrated wife who leaves Costner because he just can’t stop rescue-swimming; the small-town boy who can’t get up the gumption to train properly until Kutcher knocks some sense into him during a male bonding session; the touching scene where the previously combative leads realize that deep down, they’re not so different after all. In fact, the whole thing is so dogmatically predictable that at a certain point, you may just give up and allow your strings to be pulled. Director Andrew Davis (The Fugitive) shows his strength during the action sequences at sea, which are genuinely exciting. Otherwise, the central attraction of the film is seeing what Kutcher looks like without his mane of hair (a thick-necked male model, if you want to save yourself the trouble). At two and a half hours, you really have to be in the mood for a stock Hollywood drama with that special Costner touch. (MF)

Open Season

In his latest animated masterwork, Martin Lawrence plays Boog, a massive grizzly raised from a cub by a huge-assed game warden named Beth (Debra Messing) who uses him to educate kids about grizzlies. Trouble is, he’s domesticated; he talks, uses a toilet, sleeps in a dog bed, owns a teddy bear—in other words, he’s a bit of a suck. When Boog shows his true sissy colours after being frightened while performing, it becomes obvious to Beth that he isn’t quite the grizzly he’s meant to be. So three days before hunting season opens, she flies him to a mountaintop and sets him free to fend for himself.

Yeah, he’s pissed, but soon befriends a wacky yet amiable deer named Elliot (Ashton Kutcher) and together they attempt to find their way back to Beth where they can both live the high life again—assuming the hunters don’t get them first. Just when you’re hoping they might, Boog and his gang of killer critters go medieval on the hunters’ camouflaged asses and, once more, make the forest safe for all creatures great and small.

The animation here is really cool and the message is good but nothing tugs at the heartstrings—not even seeing a hunter get blasted to smithereens. There’s nothing in Open Season that puts that lump in the throat and makes the little ones throw tantrums unless they can have all of the merchandise. Fans of Martin Lawrence might enjoy this, but I just couldn’t stop yawning. (AMM)

Haven

Tax-shelter destination the Cayman Islands is the setting for this drama, told in overlapping narratives à la Pulp Fiction. Shy (Orlando Bloom) is a local beach bum going out with rich girl Andrea (Zoe Saldana), whose family is none too thrilled when they find out he’s just deflowered her. When he catches some vigilante justice from her sinister brother Hammer (Anthony Mackie), the two lovebirds end up on a downward spiral. Meanwhile, Carl (Bill Paxton) is a shady American businessman on the run from the authorities with a whole mess of cash. Reluctantly dragged into his drama, his daughter Pippa (Agnes Bruckner) gets mixed up with local small-time hustler Fritz (Victor Rasuk), who develops an unwholesome interest in the available booty, in both senses. The mix of family loyalties, rampant young hormones, criminal elements and a big pile of money lying around all add up to big trouble.

Writer/director Frank E. Flowers is a Caymanian native, and effectively captures the setting’s languid pace and casual opulence. This sense of place, and the local actors in small roles, give the film a distinct character. Meanwhile, the structure keeps things interesting right up until everything falls into place, at which point the exotic accents and locale can’t disguise that it’s not a particularly original story. But if you can get past that (and Bloom’s overacting), it’s a solidly crafted thriller that, depending on your mood, might just strike the right balance between too dumb and too demanding. (MF)

La Doublure

Francis Veber, the French filmmaker of Le Dîner de cons and Le Placard, is back with La Doublure and his now classic François Pignon character, the loser who encounters various high-class individuals, deals with them and proves to be a much better guy than they could ever be.

This film’s Mr. Pignon is a valet who walks into the frame of a paparazzi photograph of millionaire Pierre Levasseur with his mistress, the top model Elena. Because of the compromising snapshot, Mr. Pignon gets caught up in Levasseur’s scheme to keep his rich wife, loving mistress, impeccable reputation and colossal company all at the same time. This isn’t easy by any means, and leads to many touching and amusing situations such as when Pignon has to sleep with a top model.

In La Doublure Veber is true to himself and creates a simplistic world with endearing characters, fairy-tale-like morals and naïve, comic dialogue. At times, actually, the filmmaker should have been reminded that restraint is key; too many ambiguous circumstances and cute exchanges get boring.

But while the plot is often redundant, the cast saves it somehow—Pignon is well-played by Gad Elmaleh, Levasseur’s pathetic situation is well portrayed by Daniel Autueil and the supporting actors like Kristin Scott Thomas and Michel Aumont are brilliant.

All in all, this is a soothing little comedy about life—it has its defects but it’s an entertaining two hours with talented actors and a lot of unusual French romanticism. (CR)

Keeping Mum

Those who’ve dreamed of an onscreen pairing of Rowan Atkinson and Patrick Swayze need wait no longer. Here, they’re competing for the attentions of Kristin Scott Thomas, who used to feature in loftier projects than this droll British comedy. Walter Goodfellow (Atkinson), the bumbling priest in a small village, is so preoccupied with the Lord’s work that he’s neglecting his wife Gloria, who finds solace in the arms of her sleazy golf instructor Lance (Swayze). Meanwhile, her son is a punching bag for school bullies and her teenage daughter is less than selective in her choice of sexual partners. But all their problems start to fade with the arrival of a sweet-natured housekeeper, Grace (Maggie Smith). Unbeknownst to them, however, Grace just got out of a home for the criminally insane, and has retained a cold-blooded approach to conflict resolution.

There’s always a bit of a problem when the audience knows something the characters don’t—you spend the film waiting for them to figure it out. Grace’s homicidal tendencies are revealed in the first scene, before the other characters are even introduced. Then there’s another twist, which the filmmakers inexplicably hint at in the title. Otherwise, the film is amiable, inoffensive fare. Atkinson does precious little of his trademark physical comedy, which is either good or bad depending on how you felt about his Mr. Bean schtick. It’s a dark comedy in that cutesy, “naughty” British way, perhaps the ideal flick to attend in the company of a feisty grandparent. (MF) n

All films open Friday, Sept. 29

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