M Hey Rant Line™. This goes out to all the retards at the Rancid show. When one of the members of a band you supposedly love and admire HITS THE FLOOR unconscious, you’re not supposed to scream and yell profanities at the band to agitate them. Although I’m not surprised, considering that I had to manhandle about 15 people so my female companion wouldn’t have a concussion. Way to show class, Montreal. [BLEEP!]

F I was at the Rancid concert—another show that the Mirror decided was too mainstream or just not good enough to cover—and the band was great but the crowd was fucking retarded. These fucking West Island kids, these small-dick pieces of shit from upper-middle-class families—they go to these shows and all they wanna do is mosh and be violent. They just don’t fucking get it—they don’t understand what the band is about. Have they ever heard of the Clash? Have they watched Westway to the World? The Clash are against that shit. And Rancid, they’re great, but they’re just a Clash rip-off so, you know, do your history. Stay in the West Island next time, please, and spare me the stupidity. [BLEEP!]

M This is a rant about all those Mile-End nerds into CHAMBER MUSIC. Like, that shit went out of fashion 200 years ago. You could be listening to no wave or something, you know? [BLEEP!]

M This is a return rant to the lady that left the rant about no wave artists and such. My name is Brian and I put on the No! Wave series that’s happening with a bunch of great bands. And I just want to let you know that we are getting MILE-END PUNK POINTS and they’re sweet! They’re bringing us very much joy—I don’t see the negative part of your rant. But I hope you come to the show and I hope you give some money to the bands because they’re awesome. And I think a lot of the members of tttttttttttt are actually in the OSM, but they’re playing down for the whole Mile-End punk point thing because, as I said, they’re damn sweet. Have a nice day and take care. [BLEEP!]

M For the guy who left a rant a couple weeks back about people filing NOISE COMPLAINTS about 1180 St-Antoine. You referenced Motif and the Ghettonuns as two bands that have come from that building. You forgot to mention Common Unity, Sam Roberts, the Navajo Project, Carlyle Williams, the Tempest, Forty Birds, Casual Delirium, the Doughboys, Northern Lights, Synestry, Men Without Hats, Psychotic Four and Stars. Just to name a few. [BLEEP!]

M Just because you’re a goddamn FEMINAZI dyke doesn’t make you a folk artist so stop slapping your goddamn guitar and fucking give it up. [BLEEP!]

M To that dude who recommended reading NME magazine from the U.K. Are you kidding me? NME is a total tabloid piece of trash. All you read about in that magazine is who’s fucking who or who hates who—just gossip. Also, it’s fucking expensive. Have you ever looked at the subscription rate? It’s insane. You could spend that money on any other magazine and get way better articles and reviews and actually some insight into music. Also, NME put Fall Out Boy on the cover! That’s real credibility right there! [BLEEP!]

F Hey, it’s Rhoneil calling again, I’m the singer from the Crystal Clyffs and you spelled my name WRONG. It’s not Raineel, it’s Rhoneil. Raineel is just a code name so I could hide my myspace page from my family. That’s all. [BLEEP!]

M Hey, what’s up, Rhoneil, this is Johnny Johnny calling in response to your rant about Crystal Clyffs. I think “tonsils of Williamsburg” means you have to learn how to fix your BIKE CHAIN when it falls off. It’s an inside thing. You’ll know what I mean. [BLEEP!]

M Yeah, to Lenya B. who complained about covering up other people’s posters. I’ll tell you what, Lenya B.—you people, you do your show and you don’t even take the posters down. You leave them up there months and months and months at a time! Anyway, don’t worry about anybody covering your posters in NDG around Sherbrooke and Melrose. They’re coming off whether the show is done or not. Enough trash in the neighbourhood. [BLEEP!]

M Hey, for the piece of meat who wants to kill every punk down on Ste-Catherine street, I have three responses for you, man. Okay, first, punk is to modernity what JESUS was to the LIONS at Rome’s circus. Two, I’ll answer you with the words of a punk band you obviously don’t know called the Stranglers: “We are the men in black.” And three, and this is from Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein, the creature says it to Victor: “I’ll be with you on your wedding day.” Motherfucker. [BLEEP!]

M Um, yeah, talking on this Rant Line™ is a lot harder than I thought. I get all choked up—am I the only one? Is something wrong with me? I just can’t get across here. Anyway, I’m gonna try a little later. Thanks. [BLEEP!]

M Hey, I just wanted to know why you print Next Week: Open Forum at the bottom of the Rant Line™. I’ve never seen anything different next to Next Week. That’s it. Thanks. Bye. [BLEEP!]

Next week: Open forum