Video game review by ERIK LEIJON

As Spock once said, “I have a human half as well as an alien half, submerged, constantly at war with each other.” I myself must deal with a similar inner schism everyday—one side of my brain is obsessed with video games, and the other with golf. Spock’s quote came from a great Star Trek episode where Captain Kirk was split into his two halves; one an indecisive cry baby, and the other a philandering man-beast. For the purposes of my Real World Golf (Xbox/Mad Catz) review, I have divided my being into two halves (I won’t bore you with the science behind it).

Game-crazy Erik: WTF, another large, clunky peripheral? I could live with Samba de Amigo’s maracas, and I even looked the other way with Dance Dance Revolution’s ugly mat, but a golf swing controller? The black gloves with geeky ropes attached to a motion sensor looks ridiculous. Leave me and my Sega Menacer in peace.

Golf-crazy Erik: I was literally freaking out. Who knows how much longer the golf courses will be open in Montreal, and I was worried about another winter of having to work on my swing with one of those “professionals” at Golf Town. Why do the salespeople assume I want to buy a $200 driver just because I asked to use the practice room?

Game Erik: At least setting up the game was easy. Hmm, lots of modes too. I get to create my own golfer, there are 10 courses (with only two immediately selectable) and there are different game modes. Maybe this peripheral will last longer than my Donkey Kongas.

Golf Erik: Wow, this game calculates my handicap! And there’s a golf pro to teach me how to play. I’m really digging the swing controller too—it’s comfortable and never gets in the way. The number of courses and different types of shots I can execute will keep me occupied till next year’s Masters.

Game Erik: Are those seriously the in-game graphics? RW Golf makes Wii Sports look almost respectable. There’s nothing but swinging in this game? That’s pretty damn boring when everything looks so ugly.

Golf Erik: While it is disappointing that the greens, roughs and fairways aren’t always distinguishable, I am forced to make different kinds of shots when I’m in deep rough, or in a bunker. How ingenious. This game is about working on my swing, not looking at some pretty graphics.

Game Erik: Like all good gimmick-based games, there’s a nifty party mode, with fun diversions like darts and hoops. Of course, my fellow party-goers and I will have to share a swing controller, passing our hand sweat from one person to another. Ick, where’s my Purell?

Golf Erik: The putting is lame, and the putts are lined up automatically. Start playing right away at the highest difficulty—the amateur mode will keep your drives straight but they won’t go more than 150 yards. Pro mode has more realistic ball physics too.

Game Erik: Where’s my copy of Tiger Woods Golf?

Golf Erik: My game room needs a higher ceiling—my knuckles are bleeding.

Eins Zwei Drei Wii

The Leipzig Gaming Convention happened last week in Germany, and new details on the Wii and PS3 were few and far between. While it is nice to see a convention devoted primarily to the growing European gaming market, Nintendo didn’t divulge a release or price for the Wii and Sony is saving the PS3 for the Tokyo Game Show.

On the plus side: there were new screenshots of the co-operative tactical shooter Army of Two, being developed at EA Montreal.