Illegal wiretaps may very well allow him to see you when you’re naughty or nice, but Donald Rumsfeld has made one thing very clear. He is not Santa Claus. The confession came in response to the angry families of servicemen and women who were handed a last-minute, 120-day extension to their tours of duty in Iraq.

Due to return to the U.S. in August, members of the 172nd Stryker Brigade had already packed and boarded their aircraft home when they learned they were in fact being shipped to Baghdad. In a closed meeting with the troops’ relatives, Rumsfeld explained that the brigade’s performance in Mosul made them the perfect choice for the Baghdad mission. He also said he would “do everything in the world” to make sure the tours were not extended again. Talking to the press, though, Rumsfeld was less assuring, saying it wasn’t his style to “get into the promises business.”

“I’d love to be Santa Claus,” Rumsfeld told reporters. “I’m not.”

Don also explained that families shouldn’t be mad at him because everyone in the 172nd had enlisted of their own accord.

» Scott Saxon