by JACK OATMON

Lots of folks finish high school or CEGEP and then ship off to university for a few years of self-discovery, beer bongs, awkward dating and debt-accruement. When I finished high school, in lieu of pursuing a post-secondary education, I opted to get one of those extra-big, 48-page passports and bounce around the globe while my peers toiled away at their baccalaureates. Now, a little older and marginally wiser, I feel it’s time to claim my birthright as a Canadian to a dysfunctional liver and a dead-end arts degree. To that end, I have enrolled (part time, mind you) in a university program for the fall. That means, of course, that starting next week I get to have my official Frosh Week. Better late than never, I say! I might not attend actual, organized frosh events, but nevertheless, in full school spirit, I’ll be out there on the dancefloor sporting a polo shirt that’s three sizes too big for me, a healthy dollop of Calvin Klein cologne and the faintest whiff of Molson Ex and poutine on my breath. I’ve already started practising my inane pick-up lines and ape-with-his-feet-glued-to-the-floor dance. It’s gonna be great.

And, that makes this week the last week of summer. Wow, I like uni. It’s already provided me with two fantastic excuses to go nuts and I haven’t even started yet. So here we go with the tentative dance card for the end of Summer 2006. Tonight, I’m more than likely to be seen at Sala Rossa checkin’ out a few excellent bands. Locals Think About Life will be warming it up for Yankee dance rockers Chinese Stars, who have got some killer surf flavour cut in a funky, indie package, and Foreign Islands, whose gritty style just gained them the dubious distinction of being my ‘profile song.’ (Yeah, I admit it. Don’t laugh—you’re on there too).

On Friday, August 25, my money goes on the Academy Club’s Soirée Risquée, where you can hear groovy minimal from some guys who have probably been makin’ it a lot longer than you knew what it was. That’s Ark from France and Akufen for the home team, with Vincent Lemieux also on the turntables. After the Junior Boys show, that is.

For a night of refinement and loudness, the third installment of Arscenique is on at Blizzarts for Sunday. As for Piknic, please be sunny, please be sunny…

I noticed that Matthew Herbert will be at Club Soda with some very chilled-out and classic sounds tonight. Kinda funky, kinda quirky, kinda faggy, very soulful. Oh yeah, I gotta shout out my favourite new Wednesday and my favourite old Wednesday: Coconutz at Lola Lounge is as looney-tunes as the name (dress code: willy-nilly) with Thomas Von Party and Final Mantasy, and the Women on Wax rule the Academy Dancehall.

FRESH MAN: jack.oatmon@gmail.com

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