by MATHILDE RABBAT

Pablo Escobar, smack, blow, weed and coffee... before I had my first arepa, that’s about all I knew about Colombia, I’m ashamed to say. Ignorance may be bliss in some cases, but this isn’t one of them. All those years, I was missing out on some serious South American grub, like the treats found at Las Palmas on Rachel, just east of St-Laurent.

They say warm beverages are supposed to cool you down, but it was just too hot and humid for soup. Chorizo (sausage) and empanadas to the rescue—both good. The sausage ($4.50) was reminiscent of fresh German bratwurst, a mild yet tasty fried wiener. The empanadas ($2 each), half moons stuffed with minced beef, which seemed to be tremendously popular with the punters, also satisfied. Love that corny, crispy, golden outer shell—and who wouldn’t enjoy the accompanying aji hot dipping sauce resting in a charming little ceramic piggy holder. It’s pretty simple really: a purée incorporating lots of cilantro, chili, some onion, salt and a dash of vinegar for that extra zing. I slathered it on just about everything else I ate.

Main platos, the most expensive items on the menu, are all evenly priced at $10.90. The dishes I sampled can basically be reduced to two components: starch and protein. First there was the tamal, a thick, meaty, oven-baked loaf, drizzled with tomato sauce and artfully baked on a banana leaf. Pork on the bone, tender chicken chunks of dark and white meat, carrot, peas and potato were amongst the stuffing’s ingredients held together by a polenta-style blanket. My companion thoroughly enjoyed it.

For some hearty country fare, try the bandeja paísa, a rustic main dish, featuring a rather generous portion of soft and juicy red frijoles (beans) in a translucent sauce heavily laced with cilantro, which was perfectly fine with me. I however failed to appreciate the accompanying pork trotter which lies on the right side of the dish like a small critter’s spine, because of its dryness and lack of flavour. With its beans, pork and sunny-side-up egg topping, this dish would make a hell of a breakfast.

Both of these mains share their dishes with a sea of white rice, an absolutely perfect arepa and patacones, Colombia’s gift to the world. These fried green plantains may just be the best I’ve ever had. We’re talking large but thin heavenly patties, fried twice apparently—once after they’re sectioned, and then again after the fried portions have been pounded flat. As for the arepas, I couldn’t find a single thing wrong with these salted, buttery cornmeal medallions, useful for scooping up the minced meat that accompanies certain main platters.

The portions of main dishes aren’t just big, they’re absolutely enormous, as in fit for a construction worker after a long day’s work, or the amount you’d eat if you were trekking through the jungle and you knew the next place you could get food was more than 600 miles away. So when the main meal was over, I couldn’t even think of dessert, in solid form that is. Curious to see what the crazy giant fruit cut-outs plastered all over the walls were all about, I ordered a guayaba juice, whipped up on the premises, right before my very eyes. I sipped a delightful guava potion ($3) blending the fruit itself (in frozen form), water, sugar and ice, through a plastic, tropical-coloured spoon-straw that matched the décor beautifully.

Depending on when you go, you may catch cheesy Hispanic soaps or Colombian current events broadcast on no less than three TVs, all within a few feet of one another. Add giant fruit stickers and sorbet tones, the gabbing of fellow diners and grinding of the blender for juice mixes, and just about all senses are simultaneously stimulated. Combine this with slightly dated kitchen equipment and presto! You’ve traveled to one of la República de Colombia’s best mom and pop establishments.

Las Palmas
ADDRESS: 14 Rachel E.
PHONE: 987-1243
HOURS: Tue–Sun, noon–9 p.m. (closed Mondays)
BEST FEATURES: Delectable arepas, excellent fried
plantains, the yummy cilantro dip, huge portions and
authentic food and ambience
ALCOHOL: No
WHEELCHAIR ACCESS: Small step up
VEGETARIAN FRIENDLY: Limited
CREDIT CARDS: No
PRICE: $15 per head, after everything
RATING: *** out of ****