Lab laughs: Did you hear the one about the neutron who walked into a bar and asked the bartender, “How much for a beer?” The bartender looked at him and said “For you, no charge.” That’s funny (maybe) because neutrons are particles without electric charge. Jupiter Scientific has an extensive collection of science jokes with explanations, so you can know exactly where the punch line is (but not its speed) at www.jupiterscientific.org/sciinfo/sciencejokes.html.

Cat noir: The dark side of Garfield? No, wait, the moody, existential side of Garfield? While it seems about as likely as the Buddy Bears forming a Sisters of Mercy cover band, one Garfield plotline, dating from just before Halloween of 1989, casts Jim Davis as an ersatz Kurt Vonnegut, as Garfield finds himself alone and abandoned and hallucinates his old existence. As not funny as Garfield is consistently, there are no chuckles to be had here, just the drone of melancholy at http://tinyurl.com/rzw2b.

Comments? Michael Citrome