by MALCOLM FRASER

The cinematic oeuvre of director Betty Thomas (The Brady Bunch Movie, Howard Stern’s Private Parts) reaches its apex in this lighter-than-air, but thoroughly enjoyable comedy of teen manners.

John Tucker Must Die is narrated by Kate (perky Reese Witherspoon lookalike Brittany Snow), the socially invisible new girl at a high school, who notices that alpha-male basketball superstar John Tucker (Desperate Housewives beefcake Jesse Metcalfe) is triple-dipping with three girls from disparate social cliques. When Kate tips off the cuckolded chicks—cheerleader Heather (Ashanti), vegan activist Beth (Sophia Bush) and overachiever Carrie (Arielle Kebbel)—the four concoct a plan to dethrone and humiliate Tucker, and light-hearted hijinks ensue.

Like many high school comedies, John Tucker is interesting as a time capsule of contemporary adolescence. The moral core, or lack thereof, is certainly very of its age—when presented with this mixture of casual sex and Machiavellian manipulation, a fogey sitting beside me was heard to mutter despairingly about the fate of Western civilization. Or perhaps the film is just more honest than its predecessors in portraying high school as a Darwinian jungle of craven desire and aggressive social scheming. Be advised, though, that while the preview makes it look like a full-on sex romp, it’s all tease—the film itself is innocent at heart, falling just shy of satisfying the pervs or offending the prudes, but offering amiably brainless entertainment for the rest of us.

Another notable feature is the impossible good looks of the entire cast. Gone are the days where teen awkwardness had any place onscreen. Snow’s outcast status is particularly implausible. When I was a lad, the blonde cutie-pie in this kind of film would at least have glasses and a ponytail in a minimal effort to make her an ugly duckling, but maybe American beauty standards have become more hyper-artificial in the Jessica Simpson era.

All in all, it’s a film that likely won’t stay with you five minutes after leaving the theatre, but when the eye and brain candy are this sweet, you’ve got yourself the perfect time-killer for a lazy summer day.

John Tucker Must Die opens Friday, July 28

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