While the U.S. government has few qualms about tossing Israel billions of taxpayer dollars per year in aid and loan guarantees, it seems they aren’t quite so generous when it comes to assisting their own citizens’ escape from Israel’s rampages. While quick in arranging air and sea travel to Cyprus for Americans stuck in Lebanon, the U.S. State Department has pointed out that the evacuations won’t be done at the government’s expense.

“The Department of State reminds American citizens that the U.S. government does not provide no-cost transportation,” reads an official department release, going on to say that loans are available to “those in financial need.” Sometime between rounds of U.S.-funded Israeli artillery, fleeing Americans will be asked to sign a promissory note allowing the feds to “bill you at a later date.”

The State Department estimates about 5,000 of the 25,000 Americans in Lebanon will require their magnanimous assistance in carrying their lives and no more than 30 pounds of luggage out of Israel’s latest line of fire, the costs for which will be worked out when the dust settles.

» Scott Saxon