Dear Sasha: Can you list a few Canadian online erotic sites to buy DVDs from that you would recommend? Ideally I am looking for a Canadian store that has a wide selection of DVD erotic movies that is not a front for a fraud artist. The types of movies I am interested in are: seniors (women only), young men and older women, midgets, pregnant women, interracial couples (white men and black women) and TVs. Let me know if you have a few online stores that you trust. —Mark

Dear Mark,
Wowee zowee, you are certainly a man of multiple interests. Seriously, don’t get yourself stuck in a rut or anything, just get out there and kick out the jams, motherfucker.

Also, get your wild and crazy ass over to www.videocanada.com. Video Canada is a reputable family-run porn business based out of Montreal. They don’t have a paper catalogue to send you, but their Web site is updated daily and when I got Steve, the president, on the horn and went through your list of interests, I got a “yup” to all of them. “Oh wait,” he said, “we don’t have any older women younger men in at the moment. That’s a very popular category.” You hear that, ladies? Cut it out with the Botox! The fellows are digging the elder babe look!

Dear Sasha: I’m an attractive, outgoing, poly guy handling a breakup with my soulmate. I’m trying to work things out with her, but it could be a very long time before I see the results I desire, if at all. Meanwhile, I’m suffering. It isn’t just the sex I miss, but the intimate connection and sensual touch. I’ve been in withdrawal for months, and it’s leading me into depression.

Unlike her, I don’t have reasonable contact with other existing poly partners. My job makes it next to impossible to meet women. I’m not ready, or even necessarily willing, for a deep emotional attachment to another now anyway because it’s her that I long for. But I also know that this is killing me.

I’m networking for poly events, and placed some online personals, with no result thus far. Should I consider a GFE (mixed feelings)? A sex therapist/surrogate? A non-sexual cuddle party? Or should I just deal with it, knowing that most single people likely go through their lives without the sensual touch of another? Can you direct me toward other resources/options? —Thanks For Your Consideration

Dear Thanks,
Let’s for one moment look at the language you’re using to describe your soulmate. “I’m trying to work things out” and it may be a long time before “I see the results I desire” and “it’s her that I long for.” What’s with all the “I” business? Shouldn’t there be an equal balance of effort in this endeavour?

Let’s get a few things straight here. You are not “handling a breakup.” You are attempting to reunite with a woman who appears to be offering you no inspiration to do so, all the while seeking outside comfort to mitigate the distress it’s causing. No wonder you’re depressed. This woman may be your soul’s mate, but her soul seems to have flown the coop. A bit awkward and frankly incongruous with the whole soulmate concept, no?

I don’t know what you’ve put in your online personal (“guy who just got crushed by soulmate and is desperate to get back with her, looking for consolation”?) but likely your pain is filtering through all the forums you enter. Nobody is online or at poly or (ew ew ew) cuddle parties to guide someone through crisis, and I think only once you’ve snapped out of all of this conspicuous and self-centred anguish should you consider the myriad options that you have suggested. And though the GFE thing with a sex worker is most appropriate for the emotional atmosphere you’ll be bringing to the table, you may not find it ultimately satisfying.

Therapy is altogether a different story. It would do you a world of good to talk to a professional or look into some groups. Check out the resources at www.attitudes.cc for Montreal-specific ones.

Got any questions for Sasha? Email: POULEDELUXE@YAHOO.COM