Dear Sasha: I have a really overly sensitive vagina. When I’m masturbating at home it burns, and no matter how much lube I use (I use Astroglide), it doesn’t seem to help. It hurts so much to the point that I rarely masturbate because of the pain. When I’m with a partner it doesn’t seem to have the same problem if I’m wet before we do stuff, but afterwards I usually have a burning sensation. I am pretty sure it’s not a yeast infection, as there’s no excess discharge or itching. What could I do to help this? —Margi

Dear Margi,
I’m glad that you clarified that you masturbate at home. I can’t tell you how it worries me, with all my liberal proselytizing, that people are just whipping it out on the street.

I will offer you the advice I wish to offer every woman who e-mails me—a non-medical professional with no way of looking at your vagina in person—inquiring about her ailing or mysterious vagina: Please see a gynecologist!

In case you don’t know, a gynecologist is a doctor that specializes in stuff having to do with vaginas. If you don’t have a gynecologist, you may start by asking around in your girlfriend network. It’s totally normal to have to hunt for a gynecologist you like and trust. Some are terse and rushy, but there are plenty out there that take a more active and compassionate approach.

You’ll be using your vagina a lot in your life. It’s only sensible to develop a deeper understanding and language around it. Here are two books to help facilitate a more coherent relationship: Natalie Angier’s Woman: An Intimate Geography and The V Book by Elizabeth G. Stewart and Paula Spencer (highly recommended by my friend Kate, who writes often and well about vaginal health for Glow magazine). Web site www.thevbook.com is also very helpful.

Dear Sasha: I have been browsing your columns online with some interest! I am lead writer/features editor for the sex section (called the Blue Room) of www.nuts4chic.com. We are U.K.-based but have a large U.S. readership (in fact I think more Americans than Brits visit the site). We have just relaunched with a new look. I am in the process of researching an article about recycling sex toys—could I possibly reproduce your article (transcripted telephone conversation), as part of this article? It’s hilarious—I love it. Also, I am going to be starting a Problem Page: “The Agony and the Ecstasy: your sexual problems and predicaments stripped bare and solved by our resident Agony Aunt, Madame Ecstasy”.

Right now I am having to make up “problems” and have only come up with a mere handful, the best being “My boyfriend’s Orgasm Face makes me laugh out loud.” I would really appreciate your expertise and guidance in this venture. —Mikki

People ask me a lot of questions about the letters I receive. What’s the weirdest, what’s the grossest, what’s the most common, those sorts of things. I don’t have a pat answer for these questions, because if there’s one forum where weird, gross and common have snowflake-like subjectivity, it’s sex.

But ladies and gentlemen, I am sharing the above letter for its distinction in being the Most Brazen Letter Ever. Sure, as I’ve mentioned before, I get a lot of requests from students basically asking me to write their essays but this takes the proverbial cake. Mikki is asking to reproduce (by telephone? Huh?) an entire column to bolster an article she’s “writing.” She then asks for my help—with no financial compensation—in launching her own sex column.

Girl, are you out of your mind? For 12 years I have laboured over this thing and I ain’t giving up my secret recipe for you. Here’s my advice: you have a wonderful opportunity to learn about sexuality. Don’t blow it. Dive into research personally, respect people’s questions and take a real interest instead of just being a glib little shit. It will change your life.

Got any questions for Sasha? Email: POULEDELUXE@YAHOO.COM