by JOHNSON CUMMINS

I can’t believe I am actually writing this, but… I just got back from Toronto’s NXNE festival. This annual event has every corner of Toronto’s downtown streets clogged with rusted vans sporting out-of-town plates, spilling out gear and musicians with dreams of finally signing the big deal.

Of course, nobody ever gets signed at these things, and because of the whirlwind of shows, the normally tepid Toronto audiences are even more lethargic. My excuse for finding myself barrelling down the 401 in a rather nice rented minivan was that I was subbing in a band that had a double-booked guitarist. Thinking that the fest would largely be your usual Mobile and Robin Black showcases, we didn’t bother with passes, which of course sucked, as Television was playing right after our set.

Being an ex-Torontonian, I hate the city with all of my poutine-clogged heart, but I’ll be damned if I didn’t have a blast. Here’s the plus points to Toronto: there are at least a dozen places to keep partying long after last call, and tons of Montrealers there that now make enough money that you won’t have to pay for a beer all night (but crying on your shoulder may ensue). Probably most important, though, is that Toronto can easily boast having the best veal sandwich in the world (California Sandwiches on Clairmont—thank me later) and promoter and ex-NDGer Dan Burke getting high in front of you before dancing his way out of giving you free beer tickets is just endearing (best show of the fest).

Now here are the obvious downsides to Hogtown (usually only reserved for L.A. and New York): you’re introduced to people first by name, then, quickly following that, by what you do to pay the rent. Toronto’s live-music audiences are largely sexless, lethargic beasts (they wouldn’t even properly give it up for King Khan!) who seem joined at the hip to electronic gadgetry. The bass player in my short-lived band remarked that Toronto was “corporate–astic,” and she wasn’t kidding. While her band was being interviewed for MuchMusic, reps for Doritos jumped right in front of the camera, showered the band with free packs of their new sweet-chilli-flavoured confections while smiling like automatons during the whole coup. Cocaine is Toronto’s smoked meat, and was everywhere I went, which made NXNE seem more like an insurance-salesman convention than a music fest. And finally, well, Toronto just has no soul.

Thankfully, Montreal knows how to do fests up right, and at this year’s Fringe Fest, you won’t need any passes to get in because the music is free. Fringe Pop is happening once again in Parc des Amériques (at the corner of Rachel and St-Laurent). Tonight, Thursday, June 15, you can check out Dollarama, Motus 3F and Gatineau, Friday it’s Jaquemort, the Papercranes and the Besnard Lakes, Saturday sees Bold Saber, Miracle Fortress and Think About Life, and finally on Sunday, catch Harmony Trowbridge, Land of Talk and Patrick Watson. This all happens between 6 and 9 p.m., so make sure you get there early.

YOURS TO DISCOVER… jonathan.cummins@gmail.com

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