by JAY WATTS III

My grip on the French language is terrible at best, offensive at worst. Though I studied it until the latter stages of high school, there was something unconvincing about my teachers’ habit of playing outdated audio cassettes more than speaking it themselves. Consequentially, I’ve never been comfortable with French, outside of attempting to order food or give directions in a taxi. Reading the language, though, that I can handle—with the help of Google-translate.

Fluokids (http://fluokids.blogspot.com) are participants ’n’ watchers of the nouveau explosion of Franco ghetto-electro-hip-hop (I’m sure someone else has coined a far more appealing name or description for that Parisian scene), the likes of which include

Justice, Busy P, Uffie, TTC, Para One and numerous other lesser-knowns (for us anglos, anyway) that this blog thankfully gives some love to. From the photos, I can’t discern if these are late-20-something design students with a love of primary colours, or MySpace kids from some way-out Parisian arrondissement.

Hip hop now being the dominant musical culture ’round the world (well, at least contending with vocoder-pop, which rules Asia mercilessly), the language of asses and hos and pimps and getting paid has spread wide and far, and is set to out-perform business English as the language to learn in the 21st century, and why not? The oldest profession in the world gets another anthem, “The Dough,” from Parisian DJs Goon & Koyote, in appropriate booty-bass style. Preview it here: www.myspace.com/diamondgrills.

Something of note to wander out of Chi-town not associated with Tortoise or Pitchfork. Chicago lines converge with electro-pop quartet Walter Meego receiving the once-over from fellow citizens and URB-approved duo Flosstradamus, who’ve stripped the original of its house-like feel. The original: www.waltermeego.com/music/maybe_unfinished.mp3; the reworked version: www.waltermeego.com/music/romantic_flosstradamus_remix_(demo).mp3.

LIFE AS "NONSTOP, COMMERCIALLY PREPACKAGED MASTURBATIONAL FANTASY"… FOR PRICES: goldkicks@gmail.com

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