F I would just like to rant about DJ Choyce Kutz, the DJ on Saturday nights at Buona Notte. He is the SHI-AT—as in he is the best. DJ Choice Cuts on Saturday nights at Buona Notte is like my oxygen. His music is not only the bomb, it’s the bomb yo-diggity. If it wasn’t for him, I wouldn’t be going out on Saturday nights and anyone who says otherwise obviously does not know their music. That is all. [BLEEP!]

F To whoever said that the Saturday DJ at Buona Notte sucks: they obviously have no idea what they’re talking about. Probably Americans or Ontarians or something. [BLEEP!]

M Yeah, this is the original Buona Notte-hater. Well, first off, I’d like to apologize because I’m there so often that, yes, my Fridays and Saturdays do blend. So if it’s hip hop Saturdays with the SHORT KID behind the decks, actually, you fucking rock, man. But if it’s the Fridays with the tall dude and the SHAVED HEAD, that’s the guy who plays house. That’s the guy that needs to learn how to mix. So, yeah, if it’s Saturday with the hip hop, I’m sorry, you’re dope. I actually love your tracks. [BLEEP!]

M To the guy who was complaining about the crappy music at Buona Notte. That is exactly my attitude. I really can’t understand why all the nicest places in Montreal, like Globe, Med and Buona Notte, play the crappiest music. It’s like you have to make a choice between good music or good-looking women in Montreal. Why can’t we have both? Thank you. [BLEEP!]

M Hi. I just want to rant with extreme sadness on the fact that I don’t believe I’ve seen it’s even mentioned that GRANT MCLENNAN—half of one of the most underrated but greatest groups of all times, the Go-Betweens—died at the beginning of May. He was only 48 and built like a BULL. And this group was unbelievably talented. They never got their due and now he’s dead. And he was only 48 and it’s not fair. I’m very, very sad. Thank you very much. [BLEEP!]

M Hey, this is for the guy who says dreads need to be earned. What do you earn from that? LICE? Please. [BLEEP!]

F Hey. Last week my girlfriend and I were mocked and made fun of at Monk metro, basically because we’re dykes. And after 30 some odd years of taking this abuse, I snapped and ran my mouth at the guy. Well, I’m taking this opportunity to apologize to him now that I’ve calmed down. What I really want to say is if a SKINHEAD had abused this guy because of his race, I would be the first one to risk my life to defend him. And I have spoken up against racism many times. And, you know, slavery and HITLER happened because of ignorance like the kind you displayed towards us the other night. We’re on the same side, bro. Go to the library, get a few books, try to understand what you don’t know. Or get to know some gay people. We gotta stick together, or else the Holocaust is gonna happen again. Just educate yourself, brother. I wish you peace. [BLEEP!]

M Hey, I just wanted to know what’s all these guys walking around town wearing women’s clothes? I’m talking about those CAPRI PANTS and FLIP-FLOPS. I mean these guys must have a lot of femininity because they’re walking around like fags. I mean, come on, what kind of man wears Capri pants and flip-flops? These guys must have gay tendencies. I have nothing against gay people but, man, you’re a fag if you dress like that. Ciao. [BLEEP!]

M Hi. It’s Keith. I’ve just about had it with these FILM CREWS that take over my neighbourhood without any notice and then act like they own the place. They were like COCKROACHES last night, telling me where I could and couldn’t go. I tried to speak to the location manager but, of course, he wasn’t around anywhere. A little turd with a walkie-talkie pushed me around—here where I pay the rent for my house! We live here, they don’t!! [BLEEP!]

F Hi. I’m just calling to say that I’m very disappointed that the police and people in the neighbourhood, they’re not doing enough to fight drugs. Even in very nice neighbourhoods, there are people selling drugs right in the building, in duplexes, in triplexes—people are constantly coming and going and the neighbours don’t seem to care. The police don’t seem to care. I hope more will be done to clean up many of our neighbourhoods before there’s a DRUG INFESTATION. Thank you. [BLEEP!]

M This goes out to the big girls and sex. Let me tell you, I’ve been with lots of SKINNY GIRLS who love sex, love dick—but they don’t know nothing. The big girls are the best, they know everything. They know how to treat a guy. It’s just the best to have it with a big girl. Once you GO FAT, you can never go back. [BLEEP!]

M Oui, bonsoir, c’est Jacques. It’s concerning this big size woman. I think this is scandalous. You should say that this woman should be SPANKED publicly. Merci and bonjour. [BLEEP!]

Next week: Open forum