FILM:
Searing silver screen

A look at this season’s hottest movie bets

by SARAH ROWLAND

With no pastel mesh to be seen or bad ’80s music to be heard, what is the point in making a film adaptation of Miami Vice? More importantly, is there really a quiche-fucking scene in Another Gay Movie? And exactly how many snakes are on that plane anyway? This summer, these and many other cinematic queries will be answered as the studios unload a whack of TV adaptations, future classics and/or celebrated disasters.

Speaking of possible classics, this August the Trailer Park Boys take their grow-op shtick to the big screen. The movie starts at the beginning when Ricky and Julian first meet Bubbles. Whether this big screen treatment will elevate them to icon status the way Strange Brew did for Bob & Doug is anyone’s guess. After all, it could just as easily do for them what Brain Candy did for Kevin McDonald and Bruce What’shisname. The nation waits with bated breath.

Meanwhile, Kids director Larry Clark gives his New York indie hit a West Coast makeover with Wassup Rockers (TBA). This time, Clark follows a group of punk rock Latinos as they try to survive the unforgiving streets of their East-L.A. hood, where rappers with guns outnumber skaters with guitars. Look forward to a three-chord soundtrack and a funny bit part courtesy of Janice Dickinson, who takes the piss out of her reality TV persona.

And slackers abound this season with Clerks II (TBA). Here, Dante and Randal accidentally burn down their convenience store, forcing them to work in a fast–food joint. Can you say easy target?

In Idlewild (Aug. 25), OutKast members Big Boi and André Benjamin star as prohibition-era musicians/club owners. Directed by Bryan Barber (guy responsible for the “Hey Ya!” video), this one is sure to get a few nods at the 2007 MTV Movie Awards.

From Spain, we have Penelope Cruz and Pedro Almodóvar teaming up again for Volver (June 23), a film that won two awards at this year’s Cannes: best screenwriter went to Almodóvar and best actress went to the entire cast of women. Set in Madrid, the story follows the life and times of three generations of working-class women.

Snakes, Ants and Foxx

In the world of animation, Pixar continues its winning streak with the critically acclaimed Cars (out this week). Which means the Spielberg-produced Monster House (July 21) has a lot to live up to. Voiced by an all star cast (Steve Buscemi, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Catherine O’Hara), the film follows three teens who discover a haunted house that doesn’t wait for its victims to enter; it simply swallows them up from the sidewalk. Another 3D animation that may be worth checking out is The Ant Bully (July 28), in which a young boy learns the hard way why it’s not so cool to flood an ant hill with his water gun.

For the adults, there’s Richard Linklater’s A Scanner Darkly (July 14), a graphic-novel-style animation based on the Philip K. Dick novel. It features Keanu Reeves as a futuristic government agent with some serious identity issues.

In the martial arts department, we have Jet Li starring in Fearless (Aug. 4), a biopic about Chinese master Huo Yuan Jia (1868–1910)—a modern-day hero who many consider responsible for turning marital arts into a spectator sport.

And if you’re looking for some Florida sunshine and you can’t wait till September when CSI Miami starts up again, fear not. Director Michael Mann updates his hit ’80s show, Miami Vice (July 28), by casting Colin Farrell and Jamie Foxx as Crockett and Tubbs. No word yet, but one can only hope there’ll be a Sheena Easton cameo.

On the motor speedway, Will Ferrell pushes the overexposed envelope with another spoof. This time he’s parodying NASCAR drivers in Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby. And despite the many rumours and Johnny Depp’s alleged pleas, in Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest (July 7), Captain Sparrow’s dad will not be played by Keith Richards (insert your own dated joke here—I refuse).

Riffing on American Pie, Another Gay Movie (July 28) puts a homo twist on the comedy franchise that made pie-holing funny. While we’re on the subject of gay men, Superman Returns is out (in theatres) June 28 with Brandon Routh replacing Christopher Reeve as the man in blue tights.

And finally, Samuel L. Jackson has the distinct honour of playing the leading role in a film that has a solid fan base sight unseen. Yes, the long awaited Snakes on a Plane (TBA) proves there’s a lot in a name.

Festivals and docs

Even though the documentary frenzy has slowed down a bit this season, there are still a fare share of noteworthy real reels to check out. Among the highlights is Michael Winterbottom’s critically acclaimed Road to Guantanamo (June 30). In this part-drama, part doc, Winterbottom, who won best director at the 2006 Berlin film festival, follows a trio of British Muslims held in Guantanamo Bay for two years until their release without charge.

From Fatih Akin, who directed Head-On (arguably one of the best movies released in 2005), we have Crossing the Bridge: The Sound of Istanbul. Here, the German-based director journeys through his native land exploring the modern music scene where East meets west. In A/K/A Tommy Chong, Cheech’s former partner takes us through the million-dollar entrapment that led to his imprisonment for selling a pipe over the Internet. And in Wordplay (June 16), director Pat Creadon takes us behind the scenes of professional crossword solvers with a special focus on New York Times crossword guru Will Shortz.

In Leonard Cohen: I’m Your Man, the likes of Nick Cave, Beth Orton and Rufus Wainwright pay tribute to Montreal’s beloved beautiful loser. Unfortunately, the film itself didn’t get too many favourable reviews at its Toronto Film Fest debut. But on the upside, Bono showed up to the premiere in some really neato sunglasses.

And festival season is upon us once again, starting with the 10th annual Comedia, which kicks things off by screening a collection of 2005 Comedia shorts at the Parc, June 16–22. And you get the rest of your yuk yuks off July 13–23 when the Just for Laughs film fest unreels its 2006 entries. (For more info, visit www.hahaha.com.)

In between, the always fantastic Fantasia (July 6–July 24) will unleash its usual array of Asian sensations, bloodcurdling horrors and mind-altering animes. (For more info, visit www.fantasiafest.com.)

Later on in the month, Divers/Cité will screen its selection of gay and lesbian films (July 30–Aug. 6—for more info, visit www.diverscite.org). And say what you want, but for better or worse, the Montreal World Film Fest has staying power. Expect to see plenty of hits (and some misses) at its 30th edition, which runs Aug. 24–Sept 4.