ROLLER DERBY:
Wheels of fury

Roller derby is a punishing way to stay in shape, kick ass and look cute at the same time

by TRACEY LINDEMAN

Hell hath no fury like a woman on roller skates. At least that’s what Alyssa Kwasny is out to prove. The 21-year-old Concordia student and YWCA lifeguard is the founder of the newly formed MTL Roller Derby league, a motley crew of hairdressers, daycare workers, students and rock ’n’ rollers.

After discovering the current American roller derby renaissance, Kwasny hoped a league or team would start up in Montreal. “I’d been waiting for about a year, but no one created a league. Finally this year I found out that a bunch of teams were starting in Canada,” Kwasny says. She announced a recruitment meeting on online message boards, printed some sign-up sheets, made her way to the meeting and was greeted by 13 rollergirls-in-waiting.

Rolling revival

Montreal rollergirl Sara “Sadie Slaughter” Losier, 28, was also waiting for someone to ignite the roller derby craze in Montreal.

“I was thrilled,” says Losier. “I’ve had my roller skates since I was about 10 years old. I rollerskated religiously all throughout high school.”

It couldn’t have come at a better time for teammate Daly “Lil’ Homewrecker” Hernandez. “I had spoken to some friends about this just a few weeks before,” she says. “It was like an answer to our prayers.”

The sport grew out of Leo Seltzer’s Transcontinental Roller Derby, a 1930s month-long endurance race that simulated the distance between Los Angeles and New York City.

“But what people thought was most exciting was that people would push each other out of the way to get first,” says Kwasny.

By the time roller derby reached its peak in the 1970s, it had acquired a theatrically vicious reputation, more entertainment than competition, and had produced stars like “Skinny” Minnie Miller and “Banana-Nose” Ann Calvello, dubbed the “meanest mama on skates.” Calvello, who died in March, began competing in 1948 and is the only professional athlete whose working career spanned seven decades. While she stopped competing in 2000, she bore witness to the roller derby revival. There are now over 50 leagues in the U.S., with several teams to a league.

A roller derby bout consists of two-minute jams, with five players from each team on the rink at a time—a pivot, three blockers and a jammer. The pivot sets the pace and leads the blockers until the pack is 20 feet away from the jammer. The jammer then has to move through the pack of blockers, gaining a point for every opponent she passes—and that’s when all hell breaks loose.

Organizations like the Women’s Flat Track Derby Association, of which around 30 of the American leagues are members, set rules and regulations for the sport. Last February, 20 WFTDA leagues competed in Tucson, Arizona, to determine the first national champions, with the Austin Texecutioners coming out on top.

Good-natured violence

Although some teammates are still learning to skate, Kwasny hopes her team will be ready to compete by the end of the summer against other Canadian and New England teams.

Bruises and broken bones are extremely common in roller derby, sending women to the hospital with a gamut of injuries. So why choose this sport in particular?

“I’m looking forward to beating some girls up—in a good natured kind of way,” chuckles Bethany “Bootsy Maulins” Fisher, a member of the Montreal league.

“It’s really something for all strong, independent, open-minded, kick-ass girls who want to stay in shape, show some sportsmanship and look cute while doing it,” says Hernandez, a 30-year-old band manager.

Although still nameless, Kwasny’s team is the only registered roller derby team in Quebec. But with more and more Canadian women signing up, nearly 10 teams have popped up recently in British Columbia, Alberta and Ontario. Kwasny attributes roller derby’s popularity to the relative ease with which women can start leagues.

“It’s really DIY,” she says. “Most people start and they’re like, ‘I have no idea what I’m doing but I’m going to start a league. I don’t even know how to play.’ It’s more fun that it’s at a level where we can do pretty much whatever we want with it.”

MTL Roller Derby is still practising on a flat track at the Laval Recréathèque (900 Curé-Labelle), but they are looking for teammates, sponsors, referees and coaches. For more info, contact mtlrollerderby@yahoo.ca.