by MATTHEW HAYS

It’s a given that Britons have turned out some of the most intriguing low-budget films of the past few decades. But there’s an odd disconnect that presents itself in one area: when the Brits get sentimental, I head for the lifeboats. I just can’t take it—and I suppose it’s no worse than Hollywood studio sentimentality—but there’s something about it that just rings so forced.

Take On a Clear Day, the latest I’m-out-of-work-and-I-can’t-take-it-anymore British seaside romp. It’s undoubtedly a well-meaning film, but as we all know, that doesn’t necessarily translate into something palatable. Here, Peter Mullan plays a man laid off from his job. Haunted by the loss of his son years ago, Mullan makes an odd decision concerning his emotional recovery and reclamation of self-esteem: He’s going to swim the English Channel! He and his motley crew of buddies (think The Full Monty goes to the beach) begin prepping for this incredible challenge. Meanwhile, there are obligatory family rifts to be healed, in particular Mullan’s rocky ties to his surviving son, who is now an adult with two plucky offspring of his own.

There’s no shortage of acting talent in On a Clear Day, understandable given the huge Brit thespian talent pool. Mullan is super, as is the ever-awesome Brenda Blethyn, who plays his endearing-but-long-suffering wife (never seen one of those before in a British movie). It’s the cloying script, not to mention the cloying direction, that sinks this one. Life is so much more sentimental when it unfolds in slow motion (at least director Gaby Dellal appears to think so). The film plays almost like a parody of sentimental Britcoms.

What is it about British filmmakers attempting to be nice? It’s a sad but undeniable truth: big-screen Britons are just so much more likeable when they’re nasty. The crooks of The Long Good Friday and Sexy Beast, the junkies of Trainspotting, the terrorists and trannies of The Crying Game, not to mention the living dead and rogue soldiers of 28 Days Later. Brit films taste best when they reflect Brit cuisine: repugnant, grim and vulgar.

On a Clear Day opens Friday, May 26

>> Movie Listings