F My rant is to say I’m always at Foufs and anytime there’s a hip hop show, they big up the group SHADES OF CULTURE. Shades of Culture is no longer a group! These guys are OLD enough to be my father. And I think it’s time that they accept the fact that they’re not a band and move on so the real hip hop artists in this city can get some time on stage. Peace. [BLEEP!]

M Yeah, this is for that COCKFUCKER who called in last week talking about how the new Tool album is like the last one, Lateralus. Man, get your shit correct. It’s nowhere near like Lateralus—it’s worse. [BLEEP!]

M Galaxy 500 is a car model so if a band wants to call themselves by the name of a car, why not? Quebecois or not. Thank you. [BLEEP!]

M You know what the problem is in the world? Okay, people need music to soothe the soul. But then you have two succeeding generations: the PUNK generation and the RAP generation, and these people didn’t listen to music their whole lives. Because that is not music, rap and punk. Punk is fucking screaming, screaming to whatever those guys think they’re doing with those instruments. It’s just a bunch of loud white noise. You can’t discern anybody playing anything. You got that? And then there are the rappers, who started off as dub poets protesting to the beat. Talking about social issues to the beat. But they turned it into PERVERSION to the beat, and thuggery and brutality to the beat. But even when they had a message, it was not music, okay? It was theme entertainment. And this is why the world’s fucked up, because these people are coming into their own now, in positions of responsibility and authority, and they had nothing to soothe their troubled souls. And now they’re going to destroy the world because they will be easily fooled by politicians and people with money to do what they want them to do, as we see going on right now. [BLEEP!]

M Yeah, I gotta rant. I wanna know why the fuck the cops are harassing FLYER BOYS for giving out pieces of paper when the whole tourism industry in Montreal is based upon the clubs and there are fucking guys selling crack on Peel for the better part of a decade? Come on, man, that’s ridiculous. Get a fucking life, police. That’s it. [BLEEP!]

M Yeah, this is a message about Cinéma du Parc. Up until very recently, this was the best rep cinema in the city. Way to drop the fucking ball. Where have all the midnight screenings gone? The cult flicks? The variety? I got a gift certificate from Parc for Christmas from my girlfriend but, at this rate, it doesn’t look like I’m ever gonna use it. Even the new monthly schedule sucks. So what’s going to happen? It’s not too late to restore it to its former GLORY and bring back movies that people actually wanna see. So get with it. [BLEEP!]

M Well, it’s the month of May and already I’ve ridden my bike through most of Montreal. So I thought I’d ride through Mile-End, which I had no clue where it was but I saw it mentioned over and over again in your paper. So I picked up the map and I realized that the Mile-End is really SMALL on the map. So now I’ve lived in Hochelaga-Maisonneuve, Côte-des-Neiges, Pointe St-Charles, Rosemont. And so I rode through the Mile-End but really, there is no point, man! It’s like three blocks of CONCRETE and there is no reason to go there. Take care. [BLEEP!]

F This is about the Montreal gay scene—which I think mostly caters to men, because I can count numerous spots in the Village that say MEN ONLY. Ladies, where are the nightclubs and bars exclusively for us? It’s difficult just to meet other gay women because there’s no exciting place to call our own. Parking is being invaded by the straights and almost every girl in there has an annoying ACCESSORY on them: a man. So yeah, what’s this about a place called Lips? Where and when is it? Can someone please give me the 411 on this place? And is there anywhere else a girl can find some booty? Thank you. [BLEEP!]

M Hi. I’m looking for someone to tell me why all the trees along the Lachine Canal were cut down this winter. If someone could answer that question for me, I would appreciate it. Thank you. [BLEEP!]

M Hi. I need some help here from my fellow ranters. What is the point of graffiti-ing all these buildings? What are you trying to get across? What’s the point of a cryptic name crossed out with somebody else’s cryptic name next to it? You guys need another place to express, use another forum. What is the point of making our city look like a giant ghetto with graffiti everywhere? I don’t understand half of it. I admit there is some nice graffiti, but most of it is complete trash. It makes our city look dirty. And you know what? It’s getting worse, not better. Find another way to express yourself. Tag yourself. Tag your car. Tag your own house. Just leave our fucking buildings alone. Bye. [BLEEP!]

Next week: Open forum