by CHRIS BARRY

Name: Miss Natasha

Age: 35

Occupation: Sex educator

Bio: For the past couple of years this swanky Verdun broad has been an official consultant for Joy Toyz, saying her decision to start teaching sexual technique “was just the natural step for me to take. So much of what I do with Joy Toyz is, sure, selling sex toys, but also educating women and couples about sexuality.” Now offering her course “Groovin’ With Your Gal” to help folk better demystify the enigmatic female orgasm, Miss Natasha says her lectures “take place in a very laid back, comfortable atmosphere—more like a group of people getting together for coffee while I explain different ways to please women. And we’ll do hands-on training on items like silicon vaginas—or jelly cups to practise oral techniques. The jelly cups are good, if you suck too hard you get a mouth full of jelly, and when you sink your teeth in them you can see the imprint.”

Is it only men who attend her workshops? Hardly. “I get many women who just want to learn more about their bodies.”

What makes her so smart about sexual technique: “Oh, life experience, listening to women and their experiences—and a lot of practice. I come from a very open-minded family. When I was 13 my mother took me aside and said, ‘You know, you don’t need a man. All you have to do is take this vibrator and put it on your clitoris and you’ll see.’ I learned to please myself at a very young age, and while I don’t pretend I’m a doctor, I do know an awful lot about the female anatomy and how it works.”

Does she get many men at her courses who don’t really feel like being there but are forced to attend by their spouses? Occasionally. “It can be a bit of a bruise to the ego for some men, but I always take the time to explain that it has nothing to do with them being bad in bed, it’s just that they might want to get even better. It’s less of a, ‘Your girlfriend has sent you here for punishment’ than a, ‘Hey, you get to learn all these neat tricks that you can go back and impress your girl with’ approach.”

Might one of those impressive tricks be how to fart and ejaculate at the same time? No.

What it costs to attend Miss Natasha’s workshops: $30. Go to www.joytoyz.ca for more details.

Isn’t it putting a lot of pressure on a man expecting him to worry about whether his partner is enjoying herself or not, possibly distracting him from the much more important business of his own pleasure? “It should really be about both people’s pleasure, don’t you think?”

Another course she’s developing: Anal sex 101.

Will she be teaching the same anal sex techniques many lithe young convicts learn in jail? Probably not.

Musical preferences: Gutter Demons, Tony Ezzy.

Last book read: Memoirs of a Geisha, by Arthur Golden.

Words of wisdom: “Happiness is something that is hard to find within, but impossible to find elsewhere.”

Comments? dimwit@hdot.net