Kin-ball wizards

It takes giant balls to play this Quebec-created cooperative sport

by RAF KATIGBAK

Hey Generation Y, guess what? Extreme sports are so over. You had your chance to run with it, and you blew it. Okay, so maybe you pushed the limits of what the human body can and shouldn’t do, and maybe you helped inspire an otherwise lazy youth culture to put down their video game controllers and get off the couch.

But do you see where your so-called disdain for authority and propensity for risk-taking has gotten us? Do you realize that even hearing the word “extreme” in a commercial makes most people cringe so extremely that they actually dislocate a shoulder? Sure, it may be a hoot to go bungee jumping from a flaming hanglider into a waterfall of broken glass, but do you really need a toothpaste/deodorant/potato chip that makes you feel that dose of adrenaline? No.

In the end, it may take a big man to sky-surf onto the Alps from 15,000 feet, but it takes an even bigger man to laugh at that man and his spandex.

Now that people are wising up to the fact that you don’t have to risk busting your coccyx to have a good time, they’re left asking themselves, “What next?” Indeed, if American cinematic classics like Rollerball and Death Race 2000 have taught us anything, it’s that the last thing the future needs is more hazardous post-apocalyptic entertainment.

A friendly future

Okay, now imagine a crazy event where people from all over the world get together in an enclosed space, working up a sweat running around strategically trying to grab at huge balls. Well, guess what, it exists! And it’s not the Black and Blue party, it’s the World Kin-ball Championships!

Invented in 1986 by Quebec fitness instructor Mario Demers, Kin-ball is Canada’s own utopic vision of future entertainment: an all-inclusive, non-violent sport that promotes teamwork, strategy and fitness. All through the use of a giant four-foot balloon that makes you feel like a cross between a Greek god and that addictive Japanese video game Katamari, where you roll up things on Earth with a giant ball to create a bigger giant ball.

The rules of Kin-ball are simple: there are three teams of four people, each team is assigned a colour (Black, Blue and Grey) and one team serves, calling out another team’s colour just before service. The chosen team has to do anything it can to keep the ball from touching the ground. If they manage to keep it in play, that team takes a turn serving and so on. That’s it.

Simple enough right? Well, in a way it is, and that, as Marc Robillard, head of the ARKB (l’Association Régionale de Kin-Ball Montréal-Concordia), sees it, is why it’s amazingly popular in Quebec and steadily gaining popularity all over the world (last year, teams from Belgium, Japan, Spain and France met up in Liège for the World Cup).

“The first time you see the sport it’s a little like, ‘Huh? What the heck is that?’” admits Robillard. “The fact that the ball is four-feet in diameter, and weighs one-and-a-half pounds, and that there are three teams is, at first, a little confusing. But that’s the beauty of the sport: everyone has lots of questions, but in five minutes you can have the basics down and start playing. It’s very accessible.”

Beer still vital

And it’s getting bigger in Montreal. Over the last three years, Robillard has seen registered membership grow to an impressive 30,000-strong across the province. He believes he knows why.

“Because it’s a no-contact, non-violent sport, and every time you catch or hit the ball, each person has to touch it, so it’s very much in the spirit of sportsmanship. Say we’re on a team together. If you run fast, that’s great. If I hit hard, that’s great. If one person likes strategy more, that’s great too; even if another person is less fast, they’re just as crucial to the game.”

But make no mistake—this isn’t all lovey-dovey child’s play. As skill level goes up, the intensity increases and strategy gets more complex. Feints, psych-outs and diving/sliding saves kick the intensity factor up, if only mildly.

“It’s very competitive, but on the field is on the field, off the field is another story,” explains Robillard. “As competitive as it gets during a match, when it’s done, we all shake hands and grab some beers.”

Spoken like a true Canadian athlete.

Regional Kin-ball tournament finals will be held at Collège Édouard-Montpetit, Longueuil, May 6. For more info and to find out where to play, check www.arkb.qc.ca