by CHRIS BARRY

Name: Phylis Syd

Age: 24

Occupation: Student/actress/Playboy model

Bio: This sharp and surprisingly witty Plateau broad was weaned on Shirley Temple movies in communist Poland and raised in that well-known bastion of cosmopolitanism, Edmonton, Alberta. “All we saw on Polish TV were Shirley Temple and Some Like It Hot.” Currently in her final semester studying political science at McGill, “Phylis” sports an impressive 3.56 GPA and an even more impressive posterior—on display in all its splendour in this month’s Playboy magazine as part of their Top 10 party universities in North America feature. An avocational thespian to boot, Ms. Syd recently became a full member of ACTRA—a cherished distinction every local actor wishes to attain someday. “I get mostly stripper and hooker parts. The trick to getting enough work [to be eligible for full membership] is taking your clothes off. Ha, that’s the cliché, but it really is true.”

Is Phylis Syd her real name? Not quite. She originally chose the handle as a play on the word “syphilis.” “I thought it would be funny but people have been taking it the wrong way so now I’ve shortened it to Phylis. I dunno, I mean, really, what kind of world do we live in where people don’t think syphilis is funny?”

The thing that inspired her to bare her ass for Playboy: “I just wanted to do something naughty. I’ve been repressing naughtiness for four years. I’m at McGill, for God’s sake. I needed to vent my inner bad girl and this was the perfect catharsis.”

Would she call herself a feminist? “Certainly. In fact, it’s the whole focus of my studies. I’m sure Pateman or Dworkin would disapprove of my choices but I don’t care if they’re twisting and turning in their feminist towers. I’m a liberal feminist and I believe women should have the choice to use their bodies in whatever way pleases them, and embrace that choice. I do respect the early feminists though.”

Is she hoping to rise among Playboy’s ranks to become their next megastar like, say, Barbi Benton? “Barbi Benton? Who’s that? But yeah, if asked I’d pose for them again. I mean, I wouldn’t do it as a career choice, but sure, it was a nice adventure.”

Can we all look forward to any wide-open Phylis beaver shots in future men’s magazine pictorials? “Nah, I’m keeping the beaver to myself for awhile.”

Have any friends or family members copped to jerking off to her naked image yet? None so far.

As official representative of North America’s Partay School Number 10, has she ever found herself lying in a puddle of her own puke on the streets of the McGill ghetto? “No, I don’t even like to be drunk. Sure, McGill’s campus life is pretty vibrant but I can’t say I’ve been to too many binge-drinking, hedonistic, debauched events there.”

Where you might find her hangin’: The W Hotel, Comedyworks.

Last book read: Sexus: The Rosy Crucifixion, by Henry Miller.

Musical preferences: Tom Waits, Nina Simone.

Words of wisdom: “They say that truth is naked and I’m a pretty honest person.”

Comments? dimwit@hdot.net