by RAF KATIGBAK

Welcome to the last installment of Disko Akimbo! You read right, dear readers. After almost four years of pounding the pavement to find you the hottest clubs and juiciest DJ gossip, and then busting up that illegal arms-dealing ring in Westmount last weekend, Disko Akimbo has decided to hang up the headphones for good, and silence its golden choirboy voice forever. I know that this announcement may come as a shock to some and that right now, most of you are probably on your knees, clutching at the sky in anguish, screaming, “Why, God? Whyyyyyyy?!!!” as your world crumbles around you.

Indeed, only a fool would give up a job that consists of going to clubs, getting crunked, and then blindly stumbling home to convey the experience by mashing drunken fingers into a computer keyboard. While I’d love to give a good reason for ending the column, like, “I am moving to Africa to teach computer skills to remote villages in the hopes that they can set up their own eBay,” or simply, “I’m actually a shark-alligator-man creature from the planet Vorthron 5, and my time surveying your trifling planet is complete—prepare for the fiery wrath of Galactic Ruler K’Thambalu to rain on your puny human heads!” Alas, I can’t. The best reason I can give is that it was time for a change, and that change is good.

But now the good news (to pre-empt all the “Bring Back Disko!” riots that I’m sure will sweep across the city in a hysterical fever of carnage and confusion)! I’m proud to announce that as of next week, I’m debuting a brand spankin’ new column. I’m steppin’ up my game and hitting the city beat! The new column will be a cross between Disko Akimbo Lite and Disko Akimbo Extreme—same great taste, with half the rave but now with more citywide news, views and cultural flavour than ever!

Of course, my love affair with club culture lives on in the form of my alter ego Dr. Octoboobies’ Riff-Raff Disko nights at the Wunderbar, as well as several big-time DJ gigs in April, such as Club Soda’s Aoutch! Party on April 8 with Lesbians on Ecstasy and Dandi Wind, and even rumours of a Neon appearance mid-April (sniff... a tearful final stab at gratuitous self-promotion).

Before someone throws a tizzy for not knowing what’s going on this week, I should mention that Plateau Living kicks off their new Saturdays at Blizzarts with Thomas Von Party, Rockdeep has found a new home at Kunta Lounge on Thursdays, Salon Daomé is the best place for mid-week beats (Dizzy Tuesdays and Soultek Wednesdays), and the best fried calamari in town is at Marvin’s.

Much love to all the promoters, DJs and readers out there who kept the column and the city interesting. Holla! Keep watching this space for a new voice in the Montreal nightlife scene.

AND THE BEAT GOES ON... Diskoakimbo@sympatico.ca

>> Music Listings