Dear Sasha: Having been separated and non-involved (no break-up sex) with my ex, I have begun enjoying my new dating life after a respectable length of time of going without. I have been honest and upfront with potential and actual lovers and have many lovers whom I know as friends with benefits, no strings attached etc.

My question is, if in our late 30s we meet up for a little slap and tickle and the occasional 71, is it safe to presume that unless exclusivity is discussed, it is non-exclusive? I know this does not fall under any statistical study, but do you have any insight into what may or may not be the protocol? What does your experience or others that you have known tell about when it is exclusive? I have toothbrushes here for them, but no space in the dresser drawers. No assumed dates, yet a couple of them are growing attached after much dissuasion and open talk about my unavailability. —Managing Expectations

Dear Managing,
Yes, women ruminate endlessly and aloud over such mundane symbols as dresser space and onsite grooming products, but exclusivity should only be expected when it is verbally agreed upon, and this is a safe rule to apply at any age. The toothbrush may be a longstanding token of monogamous commitment, but really, the Couth have one available to any person who sleeps over and most particularly for those who want to make out in the morning. (A safer option, to avoid bleeding gums, is mouthwash).

You have gone the extra distance and been verbally explicit about your choice of lifestyle right now. Any person you sleep with who springs a contrived assumption of exclusivity on you should be avoided—just know that this imbroglio usually ends frostily with you being cast as a soulless prick no matter how honest you’ve been. If someone asks for an exclusive commitment, is denied and continues to hold out hope, they are either not listening (“Can’t hear—ears blocked with wedding cake”) or they are in that swirling vortex of waiting for you to come around to their singular charms (which they place you in the position of judging because your lack of commitment implies you are immune to them).

Get a few women in this state and you may end up having some of the best sex of your life, but make no mistake: They’re not just fucking you, they’re also in a great big fuck-off with each other. Knowing this and maintaining it for your own egotistical gratification does make you a bit of a soulless prick, by the way.

More importantly, in over eleven years as a sex columnist, I don’t think I’ve ever come across the term 71 to describe a sexual position, and looking at it, I’m assuming the seven represents an erect penis. But why is it facing the other way? Is that like when Irish people wear their claddagh upside down to imply they’re available? Please explain.

Dear Sasha: My boyfriend is always getting a yeast infection about a week before my period is due. This has happened for the last five months straight. Can there be something inside of me that’s causing this, even though I don’t have a yeast infection? —Concerned Girl

Dear Concerned,
How do you know he is getting a yeast infection? How do you know you don’t have yeast? Have either of you been to a doctor? I’m asking because a lot of women actually do get a low-grade yeast infection before their period—which generally goes away during since yeast hates menstrual blood—and men can contract them then. If you are self-diagnosing, it’s a good idea for you to both get checked out professionally so you can proceed to a remedy. If you are diagnosed with pre-menstrual yeast and your doctor doesn’t suggest boric acid capsules for you and an anti-fungal cream for your boyfriend, please go online and research this route. It is highly effective.

Got any questions for Sasha? Email: POULEDELUXE@YAHOO.COM