by SCOTT C

Like the spawn of the full moon, the three members of R&B sketch comedy group Nickelblack are truly at their best after it gets dark. However, R-Fudge, Barry Tone and Billy Backup are quick to clear up some of the misconceptions that the general public may have about their budding supergroup. The Mirror spoke to all three of them over the phone from somewhere in Montreal.

Mirror: Please tell me what the hell Nickelblack is all about, and whether I should be excited or very scared.

Billy Backup: Musically? Basically the girls have to keep their panties dry, and the fellas are just jealous, ’cause Nickelblack is hot!

R-Fudge: Yo man, Nickelblack is like Boyz 2 Men meets Jodeci, meets Rick James, meets Prince, meets Michael Jackson—

M: So Canadian rockers Nickelback have nothing to do with this at all?

RF: You’re talkin’ about those two white guys, and one of them looks like Jesus, right?

M: That’s them.

BB: Naw, naw. I heard about them. They jacked our style, jacked our name, trying to live up to the Nickelblack ideal, but that’s just not how it’s going down.

M: How many times have you guys performed live?

BB: Like, a million!

RF: Man, Nickelblack was hot in the ’90s. We were 10 steps ahead of the game, and heads weren’t ready for us back then. We are millennium niggas.

M: How many songs do you guys actually have?

BB: The new single is actually called “Booty Juice Drippin’.”

RF: And the next one is called “Waterproof Panties,” but we’ve got like 12 LPs under our belt. We’re like LL in the game, greatest of all time! We also do a lot of ghost writing for a lot of people. We’ve been helping Stevie out, we also wrote that Usher track.

BB: You know that track “I Don’t Wanna Know”? Yeah, we had nothing to do with that.

M: You guys think you could sing a little something on the phone right now?

BB: I don’t know. Y’all niggas want to do a track for this guy?

RF: We can’t be doing Nickelblack over the three-way! What do you think this is, man?

M: I’m sorry if you need the proper lighting or a microphone. I can’t help you, but show your skills!

Barry Tone: Nickelblack don’t just perform without a trailer.

BB: Yeah, a track over the phone is not going to do us justice.

M: I guess it’s my loss. Have you guys toured this outside of Montreal?

BB: Let’s not talk about the European tour. We’re too humble to talk about the European tour. Let’s just say, Europe ain’t ready.

M: I’ll take that as a no.

RF: Man, you don’t know. Nickelblack will take the R&B experience that you know, take it to the next level and transform it! We have all the ladies screaming, and it’s hot every time.

With Never Surrender at Musée Juste Pour Rire on Saturday, Feb. 25, 10 p.m., $5

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