At long last, the truth about the odd shape in the basement of a northern Milwaukee house that two families thought looked very much like a body encased in concrete is finally revealed. Wouldn’t you know, it turns out that the only reason it looked so much like a body is because it was one?

“I used to lift weights down there and everything,” said Cortez Thurman. “We used to always joke around, like, what if it’s a dead body up under there?” His sister Zaporah added, “I used to sit on that body.”

When the Thurmans moved out, a new family came in and also thought the body looked rather like a body, but nobody considered calling the police. In fact, the police were at the house on a completely unrelated matter when someone suggested they may want to take a look at the mound while they were there. Police are handling the case as a homicide, but neither family is being implicated in any crime.

» Scott Saxon